Cat Marnell "Fired" by "TEEN Publicist"S

What seemed like a beautiful partnership that would last forever and never go wrong at any point just a few weeks ago has ended. Artiste of the overshare Cat Marnell and her 18-year-old TEEN publicist, Alex Kazemi, have parted ways. This means Kazemi will no longer run Marnell's Twitter. For now, any bickering that takes place on it will be between Marnell and Marnell.

In a hilariously straight-faced interview with Bullett, Kazemi claims that Marnell "belittled" him, which is kind of what being an intern is all about. The work conditions he describes, however, sound more like hazing, though. It's Marnell's sorority, we just side-eye it.

Says Kazemi:

This week she wanted me to make a blog called “Cat Marnell’s TEEN PUBLICIST’s wall of shame”. The first post was me writing “I WILL NOT DM RIFF RAFF FROM CAT’S TWITTER” 100 times on a lined piece of paper like Bart Simpson and I’m not making myself look like a fool, so I can rub off of her 15 minutes of fame. Social climbing is so bleak; I don’t want a cosign. With any career, you should work for your own notoriety and not ride on anyone’s coattails.

She unfollowed me on Twitter as we were texting and that’s so shady…

And also:

The one thing that genuinely hurt me though was the first night Cat and I talked on the phone when she was drunk on her roof; she said “If you are straight, I can’t trust you, you can’t work for me” and she kept making all these implications about my sexuality based off of my interests. It was pathetic.

But at least their brief time together was the stuff of legends. Says Kazemi:

It’s like when Hole and Manson went on tour in 1999 and they had to stop it halfway in because in between each other’s sets they would make snide comments about each other. We clash. I wish Cat all the success, and I really hope she will learn how to get off of Twitter and close herself in a dark room to write her memoir. She also directly said to me: "My friends don’t like Cat Says anymore, so we are going to stop it." Cool is all that matters these days, folks.

I texted Marnell for a comment and also to apply for the vacant position. This post will be updated when I hear back.

[Image via Marnell's Instagram]