America's favorite fighter jet Charlie Sheen, apparently realizing he is sitting on a hypothetical goldmine of branded paraphernalia, is attempting to trademark 22 of the phrases he's coined during his latest manic episode, including:

• Vatican Assassin (the Pope doesn't have this one locked down already?)
• Tiger Blood
• Rock Star From Mars
• I'm Not Bi-Polar, I'm Bi-Winning
• Duh, Winning
• Adonis DNA
• Sober Valley Lodge
• Sheen's Goddesses
• Violent Torpedo of Truth
• Defeat Is Not an Option

Guess he will be "Duh, Winning®™" a lot of copyright suits! Right?

Sheen obviously has some experience with intellectual property rights, being the patent-holder for this... thing that he invented. The trademarks were filed by a company called "Hyro-gliff," located at the same address as Sheen's lawyer Marty Singer, and cover a wide variety of products: "Cell phones... wallets, purses, stickers and pens and pencils... bras... pet foods and even alcoholic drinks." Feel free to come up more appropriate branded products in the comments! Such as: Crack pipes! And: Restraining orders!

[AP; image via AP]