NBC Chicago reports that it might feel like -45 degrees tonight in the Chicago area, which is really, obscenely cold. Although a certain member of the Gawker staff thinks factors like “wind chill” are beefed-up “fraudulent numbers” designed to make you either a) stay inside forever or b) feel like a big ol’ badass for stepping outside for 5 minutes, I beg of you, Chicago-area people, do not go outside tonight.
If you are tempted to go outside, despite the fact that it could feel like NEGATIVE 45 DEGREES OUTSIDE, I recommend you do one of the following first:
- Read this (wonderfully) imagined first-person account from Outside Magazine about what it feels like to die from hypothermia
- Watch this video of boiling water being thrown into -45 degree weather, which is anti-climactic until you realize that that is what the inside of your body will be doing when you step outside or
- Call your mom and tell her you’re going outside.