Chris Christie Admits to Weight-Loss Surgery

Fat loudmouth prick Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey, is well on his way to becoming plain old loudmouth prick Chris Christie, after getting lap-band surgery to lose weight and dropping 40 pounds in three months.

Christie, whose most defining characteristic after being a belligerent asshole is his fatness, admitted to the New York Post that he secretly got the surgery—in which a band is placed around the stomach to reduce food consumption—in February:

He told The Post he was thinking of his four kids and how it was time to start improving his health when he decided to have the procedure.

“I’ve struggled with this issue for 20 years,” he said. “For me, this is about turning 50 and looking at my children and wanting to be there for them.”

He's apparently already lost 40 pounds, but says the surgery isn't about a possible presidential run in 2016. Not that anyone believes him—Christie, the preferred candidate of hedge fund and Silicon Valley types, not to mention Roger Ailes, is almost certainly going to put in a bid for the 2016 Republican nomination. (He's almost certainly going to lose, too.)

But would being skinny help him, in any event? He might get away with being a combative SOB (and liar) because his fatness softens his prickishness. The only thing people hate worse than a fat asshole is a skinny asshole.

[image via AP]