Colonel Mustard commented on Real World Cancun: At Least You Weren't Adopted!

"@ambitious: I'm going to start shouting, "At least I'm not fucking sober!!" when I get in arguments."

Colonel Mustard commented on 'She Decided She Would Be Funemployed, And Started a Blog'

"I am Funimpressed."

Colonel Mustard commented on Sea Lions Turn to Prostitution

"Nothing's worse than a bad flipper job, though."

Colonel Mustard commented on It's Not Always Progressive in Philadelphia

"@OrneryBabe: I'm all for bad publicity."

Colonel Mustard commented on One Congressional Hero Votes Against Plaque Honoring Slaves

"@ObamaIsMyPresident: I don't know."

Colonel Mustard commented on One Congressional Hero Votes Against Plaque Honoring Slaves

"@Go Like Hell Machine: He'd have to have a pretty big pair of Cujones to own up to it in public, though."

Colonel Mustard commented on Rove Testifies to Congress About Ancient History of Long-Forgotten Misdeeds

"Judiciary officials report that the testimony was delayed several hours when Rove placed his hand on the bible to be sworn in, there was a loud hissing sound and smoke began to emanate from the book's cover."

Colonel Mustard commented on The Crowdsourced Celebrity Gay List

"@uncivily obedient: I just want to meet the idiots who voted "no" on Adam Lambert."

Colonel Mustard commented on The Ten Most Important Moments of the Michael Jackson Memorial Mess

"@are friends electric?: Kids speak at their parents' memorials all the time."

Colonel Mustard commented on Go Directly to Jail

"Being the kind of dumb-ass who'd spend $300,000 on a pendant that says "OOPS!" is in some ways a punishment itself. On the other hand, maybe he should go fuck himself."