<![CDATA[Comments from The Cooler]]> <![CDATA[Comments from The Cooler]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Definitely Harrod's]]> I'm sorry, I though you said "stage version of the film Rain Man", but that can't possibly be correct. Even the most idiotic savant would never attempt such a thing.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on The Highline's Only Lawn]]> @Phyllis Nefler: Seriously, like New Yorkers need more places to walk? That's all we fucking do! (The poor ones anyway.)

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on CBS War Correspondent Gets Promotion, Sex Scandal]]> Do you think that Chmielowiec, a lawyer, really shouted out that quote? Nobody paints a picture like the ENQUIRER!!

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Your Morning Video Wake Up Call]]> Uh, can we please get the conlcusion of the reed sucking discussion. It was just about to get interesting.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on How a 730-Ton Ball Kept the Second Tallest Building From Falling During the Chinese Earthquake]]> @tehdahl: No, I don't. That's why I asked, dick.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on How a 730-Ton Ball Kept the Second Tallest Building From Falling During the Chinese Earthquake]]> So what keeps the ball from breaking loose in an earthquake and taking the building down with it? Another smaller ball inside it?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Russert Death Wikipedia Leaker Fired]]> @PRIsNotJournalism: Yeah, they do. It's called making sure their employees do their fucking job.

@ZiggyStardust: Wikipedia is not a news site.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Where Did All The News Go?]]> Yeah ... and it's awesome. Don't jinx it.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Peggy Noonan Is America's Princess]]> Agreed. I didn't realize she was even aware that it is not 1987 anymore.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam']]> I would say as soon as you get gored twice in one day it's time to take "best bullfighter of all time" off your business cards.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on New Yorkers to Roam Streets Unmolested for Three Car-Free Days This Summer]]> Bloomberg has implemented some pretty clever and brave ideas. This is not one of them.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Preparing For The Tour De Lance]]> Jesus, the guy is a fucking cyclist. And a retired one at that. Since when has that ever played with the ladies (who aren't also cyclists)?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Secret New World Order Meeting Inspires Awesome Blast Emails]]> Yes, I'm really interested in Thrillist's take on this. Perhaps they can tell me where Prime Minister Gordon Brown got his $800 shoe shine kit/premium vodka dispenser.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Why Do So Many Star Athletes Go Broke?]]> @ADismalScience: Change "sports" to "all forms of popular entertainment" and you're on to something.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Liz Smith Thinks Col Allan Is 'Absolute Total Shit!']]> "And the quote should have read 'Col Allan is absolute total shit HEAD! -toodles, Liz"

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Teenage Punks Must Apologize On YouTube For Being Dumb]]> The real solution? Severe tire damage-creating spikes that can be deployed by the window worker at the push of the button.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Somebody Has Been Watching "Rookie Of The Year"]]> Umm, hello? Bad News Bears In Breaking Training? Geez, I'm not that old, am I?

Oh, and I defy at Fark to name the second-worst call in college baseball history. Or name any bad call from college baseball history.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Hit-And-Run Apathy Video Proves People Are Bad]]> @The Cooler: Well, maybe not Flushing.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Hit-And-Run Apathy Video Proves People Are Bad]]> Exactly. If that had happened in Flushing, the driver would have been pulled out of his still running car and he'd be the one paralyzed in the hospital. Mob justice is the best justice.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on 'I Spit on Your Grave' Remake Promises Even Motorboatier Disembowlements Than Before]]> Lohan. Please let it be Lohan...

P.S. "Suck it, bitch!"

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Security Cam Footage of Cubicle Rage to the Extreme is Every Cube Dweller's Fantasy]]> @Ben Zvan: And chairs and paper and office supplies and wall charts and filing cabinet and a used copy machine off eBay. And about 30 actors. And ...

... wait, we're just going to put this up on the internet for free? Oh, nevermind.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Security Cam Footage of Cubicle Rage to the Extreme is Every Cube Dweller's Fantasy]]> If it's fake, it's the most elaborate and expensive viral video in history.

And it's Russian, not Italian.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Security Cam Footage of Cubicle Rage to the Extreme is Every Cube Dweller's Fantasy]]>

Tube-ified

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Graydon Carter's Delicate Sensibilities Offended]]> Her career? Yes, it would be a crying shame if the producers of "The Texas Cheerleader Scandal" had to move on without Tatum O'Neal.

[www.imdb.com]

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Peter Warrick Is Still Bitter About The Heisman Trophy]]> The "right attitude for the Alouettes" = "bitter, useless regret mixed with endless grudge holding"

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Frasier Danger]]> Thank you for having the courage to stick with the obvious, yet still hilarious joke.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Post-Apocalyptic Videogames that Real-Life Terrorists Play]]> That's not so bad. A military-grade, nuclear-powered Roomba would have that place cleaned up in a couple hours.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Size Zeros Richies Can Barely Squeeze Into a 2 These Days]]> Are you sure that article wasn't in The Onion? How could anyone associated with that write or say those things with a straight face?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Terry Semel to bid $2 billion to $3 billion for talent and marketing agency IMG]]> So in other words, he wants to take a successful business, turn it into something completely different, and destroy it. Seems like a good use of $3 billion.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Those Amazonian Tribespeople: Bullshit?]]> Not just bullshit. Complete bullshit.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Copy Editing Cliches]]> @sdangerfield: So should we send our resumés directly to you?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Is Dog-Walking While Vespa-Riding Bad? Probably.]]> The dude probably thinks he's being clever and beating the system, but wouldn't it be easier and less time-consuming to actually walk along with them?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Washington Little Leaguers Don't High-Five Like You And I Do]]> No one knows what prompted it? Really? Completely out of the blue, huh? Not even a "Zinedine Zidane's sister is a dirty goat whore" comment?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Which Bisexual Rapper Has Been "Servicing" His Entourage?]]> I'm B-list blogger, who makes D-list money, but I can still afford to drink at C+-list bars despite my F-minus-list social skills and H-list attitude. But I do have A-list recognition when I visit my mom's house.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Hamptons Gallery's Illegal Wine Bust SHOCKER!]]> @valarmorghulis: The '84 Tanqueray is my favorite vintage.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Surfer's Dreaminess Is Biggest News In New York]]> "Douchebag whips out camera as stranger dies in front of him. See Page 7."

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on <i>Sex and the City</i> Turned 14-Year-Old Into Old Trollop]]> @it takes a train to cry: Yes. As long as one of them isn't gay for the other one.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Teen Arrested On Child Porn Charges After Posting Photos Of His Ex]]> Yeah, it's not like he posted hardcore sex photos on the front of a media gossip and pop culture blog.

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Media Approval Ratings: Tim McCarver]]> He can be incredibly obnoxious with his meandering and repetitive explanations and horrible puns and transitions, but the guy really does know more about baseball than just about color guy out there. He's just really, really bad on TV.

Wait, what was the question again?

]]> <![CDATA[The Cooler commented on Google Maps Catches Chicago Kid About To Shoot Someone]]> Are you fucking kidding me? This picture is clearly not what you're pretending it is.

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