skahammer commented on Oversharing Is Sometimes Okay, Says Oversharer

"@SeaBassTian: I agree with this."

skahammer commented on Is It Too Soon For The Wackness?

"@tablefornone: I enthusiastically promote the racist stereotype of my being highly competent at pursuits requiring mechanical precision -- due to my Bavarian ancestors -- and yet that's clearly fiction."

skahammer commented on Who Says Newspapers Are Dead?

"99,999 Unread Balloons"

skahammer commented on Sexual Harassment Equality: A How Not To Guide

"@RollsRoyceRevenge: Only meant to point out, with unfortunate clumsiness, that if you change one variable (identity of the harasser), behavior that first appears to you to be harassment could potentially become something else. Eh, SNL illustrated this point much better with Tom Brady, if I remember correctly."

skahammer commented on Fox Biz Helps Newswoman Realize Dream Of Shaking Booty

"@nolongerinacubiclestillawhore: Why are you stopping?"

skahammer commented on McCain Smash Sandinista

"@I Don't Get It: Must be those Washington Bullets again."

skahammer commented on McCain Smash Sandinista

"@Sproing: OK, but I won't stand for a president whose pants suddenly become shredded shorty-shorts. And I have no idea what the solution might be."

skahammer commented on 'The sensual mysticism of entire vertical being.'

"Skip ahead to the crucial part: What color light will it be illuminated with for Eid al-Fitr?"

skahammer commented on Hipster Irony Removes Fun From Pop Music, Leaves Various Words For Butt

"@Mike_Jahn: I was a santa two years ago at Hammerstein Ballroom."

skahammer commented on McCain Smash Sandinista

"That sound you just heard was Oliver North denying he creamed his jeans. Me likey this one."

skahammer commented on Photoshop Of Horrors

"I just love the imagination implied in the notion that somewhere out there is a poor, understimulated, overmedicated female who, upon finding out just how dirty my mind is (per the large right-side cover hed), would actually be "intrigued.""

skahammer commented on Gwyneth Paltrow To Steal Role in Crappy Musical From Anne Hathaway

"Please, ladies."

skahammer commented on Suburban Ennui and Urban Angst, Explored through Julia Allison's Twitter

"@StonedAndDethroned: Can you just confirm for me that Liz Phair wasn't the girl who turned you gay? I don't want to explain why; I just want to know."

skahammer commented on Sexual Harassment Equality: A How Not To Guide

"I know that everything that's being said here makes it sound like being targeted by sexual harassment would be horrible -- even for a guy like me. Nevertheless, I still can't shake the feeling that I'd like to try it sometime. I mean, with the right person, over-the-line behavior might not feel very harassing at all, I suspect."

skahammer commented on Torturing The Hitch

"@SarahHeartburn: How'd you learn to move your legs like that? I guess if you can coin a new word without meaning to, you can do pretty much anything."

skahammer commented on Hey Ladies! Sean Avery Will "Jerk Off to You Now"

"@slimceagirl: Well, you acquire it the same way as the regular clap -- except with Donna Summer playing in the background."

skahammer commented on Emily Gould's Memoirs Sold for "Low Six Figures"

"@it takes a lot to laugh: No, it's okay, I'm here now."

skahammer commented on Hey Ladies! Sean Avery Will "Jerk Off to You Now"

"@WhiteinBayRidge: But don't try it in any Whataburger franchises. Just take it from me."