McCheeburger commented on Greg Gutfeld: Ready To Take Your 3 a.m. Calls

"This just in: Christian Siriano beats up Greg Gutfield in drunken bar fight."

McCheeburger commented on Our Advertisers Are the Bravest Ever

"If I advertise with Gawker Media, do I get virtual guillotine immunity? How about a free pass on the next Quickfire Challenge?"

McCheeburger commented on Times' Uma Thurman Report Heroically Creepy

"@Helman: See, I like to parade my moral and intellectual superiority in front of my collection of plush Smurfs. It's a win-win for all of us as it keeps me off the streets, and keeps them from getting bored. As for the rant in question?"

McCheeburger commented on Scores Strip Club Sues New York for Police Corruption

"@HamptonShmampton: strippers smell funny. Use less garlic when you sauté them."

McCheeburger commented on Girls, 15, Call Miley Cyrus A Slut

"@if_i_only_had_a_heart: and to all those who say, oh puritan this uptight that, ask yourself, would you want that to be your kid? You have framed your argument improperly."

McCheeburger commented on If You Were Abused by Sorority Mean Girls, Call Courtney Holt's Lawyer Now!

"Ashton Kutcher's career is sinking faster than I imagined."

McCheeburger commented on Julia Allison Is Chris Anderson's Tail Tonight

"I'm not up my junk fame whore lingo, so what does "bopping him enthusiastically" translate to in standard English? And I apologize in advance for adding to the already stupid amount of bandwidth devoted to the Internets low-hanging fruits."

McCheeburger commented on Girls, 15, Call Miley Cyrus A Slut

"15-year-old girls calling a member of their own age group a slut? This."

McCheeburger commented on Times' Uma Thurman Report Heroically Creepy

"Just because you're a paranoid schizophrenic doesn't mean you're unaware of the hypnotic power of TAG body spray."

McCheeburger commented on Can This American Idol Be Saved?

"Although not a fan of video games myself, giving one lucky audience member the chance to pimp slap and then frag the losing contestant might help. As for Paula?"