At Hahnemann University Hospital in Philadelphia, more than 800 nurses are voting tonight on whether to unionize. The company’s shocking plan to stop them: old cookies.
Yes—old reused cookies.
We are able to bring you word of this horrifying instance of anti-labor dessert news thanks to a tip from a labor organizer helping the Pennsylvania Association of Staff Nurses and Allied Professionals, the union that is leading the organizing drive at the hospital. IT SEEMS that in a desperate maneuver to sway its employees against organizing for their own interest, the management of the hospital (owned by the multibillion-dollar conglomerate Tenet Healthcare) distributed to its nurses the cookies that you see pictured above: “NO!” they read boldly, amid a red, white, and blue palette.
Free anti-union cookies? Sure, what could be wrong with a sweet Randian treat? That is what they thought—until one intrepid employee quite literally “dug deeper” into the icing of said cookie and discovered an unspeakable truth:
THE ANTI-UNION COOKIES WERE IN FACT OLD COOKIES FROM ANOTHER HOSPITAL THAT HAD BEEN RE-ICED AND EMPLOYED IN A DASTARDLY CONFECTION RE-USE SCHEME PERPETRATED UPON THE HARDWORKING NURSES OF HAHNEMANN UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL.
Unbelievable? Behold a photo of the cookies in their original state—when they were handed out to employees of Einstein Hospital, a whole different hospital across town.
Phil Ellingsworth, the PR man at Hahnemann Hospital, told us “While it’s not quite ‘cookiegate,’ we were certainly surprised and disappointed to find out the cookies we ordered from our vendor had been re-iced with our message. All unopened cookies were returned to the bakery the same day.”
It will take more than a nasty old reused cookie to break this union—sir.
[Photos via Northeast Nurses Association]