Unfortunately, he couldn't quite find any non-essential staffers, but one name did seem to come up again and again when he asked employees to nominate a coworker to be furloughed: Assistant producer Jordan Schlansky.
This isn't Conan's first encounter with Jordan, who at this point could best be described as the talk show host's archnemesis.
If you haven't yet, you absolutely must check out Conan's other "remotes" that feature Schlansky.
If the video above doesn't work in your region, try the one below:
[H/T: Reddit, video via Team Coco]