Consumers Demand Artificial Food Without Artificial Ingredients

You, the American consumer, do not know any science, but you do know you want all of those "artificial flavors" and "artificial colors" out of your processed garbage food. Or at least you want to believe they're out.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Kraft-owned Philadelphia Kreem Cheez is redesigning its packaging and paring down its list of ingredients. Why? To "appeal to increasingly health-conscious shoppers" who are part of a "cultural shift" towards "freshly made and simple ingredients." You, the consumer, demand that your conglomerate-produced factory cheez be all natural! Well—mostly:

Consumer tests showed people wanted more produce flavor in some varieties—but not too much, "so it still tastes like cream cheese," says Mr. Tilton.

Some artificial ingredients stayed. Red 40, a food dye, remains in the Strawberry and Salmon varieties. Artificial flavoring is in two chocolate flavors. The artificial preservative sorbic acid is in every flavor. Natural red coloring becomes "sort of orangey-brown," over time, a consumer turn off, Mr. Urban says.

You, the consumer, insist that the marketing of your food assure you that it is "natural," yet you refuse to eat food that is natural, because ugh, it looks weird, and what is that weird taste? Gross.

We all die from something.

[Ad with quintessential tagline "Made With Real Ingredients" via FB]