Cool Pope Francis, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, possessor of truly Jadenesque follower count, acknowledged today that evolution and the Big Bang thoery are real, and that God is not "a magician with a magic wand."
Francis explained that both scientific theories were not incompatible with the existence of a creator – arguing instead that they "require it".
"When we read about Creation in Genesis, we run the risk of imagining God was a magician, with a magic wand able to do everything. But that is not so," Francis said.
He added: "He created human beings and let them develop according to the internal laws that he gave to each one so they would reach their fulfilment.
"The Big Bang, which today we hold to be the origin of the world, does not contradict the intervention of the divine creator but, rather, requires it.
Congratulations to His Holiness Frankie for staking out yet another brave, cool position for the Catholic Church. Someday, maybe we'll even get women in the clergy.
[Image via AP]