Cool Sign: "Satan Couldn't Be Everywhere So He Created Liquor Stores"

Just recently in Dyersburg, Tennessee, a number of custom-made purple signs materialized around the 17,000-person town, alerting local drinkers they were unwitting pawns of the Devil. Strategically placed across from alcohol purveyors, the banners proffered these admonishments:

"Satan couldn't be everywhere so he created liquor stores, nightclubs and beer joints. 'And be not drunk with wine, ... but be filled with the spirit' — Ephesians 5:18"

and

"Boozers are losers! Guns don't kill people - Drunks do! 12,100 deaths from guns. 75,000 deaths from alcohol. Do the Math!"

For what it's worth, the "boozers are losers" slogan is ripped off departed country songwriter Hoyt Axton.

Stan Marsh, a local businessman who enjoys a pop now and again, was not happy with the prospect of leaving his local bar and having to face that condemnation. "It's discrimination against people who drink," he told the Dyersburg State Gazette. So Marsh not only complained to the city, but also tracked down the signmaker's cell-phone number and gave the man, who hasn't publicly been identified, a call:

"He just kept saying Dyersburg needs to be taught a lesson," said Marsh who said the caller hung up on him.

Marsh was never sure what that lesson was. He says the man claimed to be putting the signs up on his own.

Another recollection of the conversation, from the Dyersburg State Gazette:

He quickly found himself in a heated discussion.

"I told him, 'I've been drunk twice this month and I haven't killed anyone yet,'" said Marsh.

Once more, for emphasis: "I've been drunk twice this month and I haven't killed anyone yet.'"

The signs have since been removed.

[WMC-TV / image via Dyersburg State Gazette]

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