Naked Intruder Poops on Couple's Floor, Gets Ride Home From Cops

A drunk 25-year-old who broke into a couple's new home outside Boise, Idaho, took a dump on the floor of the house and nearly got shot before receiving a free ride home from police—a move the homeowners say is a load of crap.

It was about 6:30 a.m. two Sundays ago when Jake and Tricia Gillaspy awoke in the Kuna home they'd just moved into, only to find an inebriated and stark naked Matthew Coomes standing over them in their bed, according to KTVB-TV:

"My husband grabs the gun because we have no idea who this guy is," said Tricia. "He's like, 'Get out of my house, now!' But the guy wouldn't leave. So, he puts the gun to his head, and says, 'I said, get out!'"

Tricia says Coomes eventually started to walk out at gunpoint while her husband was calling 911.

"He's like, 'There's a guy in my house. I'm going to shoot him, you better get a cop here now,'" she said.

Around the same time the police arrived, the Gillaspies surveyed their home and realized they were going to have a $1,000 cleaning bill, on account of all that poop on the carpet and walls:

"He took this sink sprayer out and this drawer was in there. He put it in the drawer, turned it on full blast hot water, it filled that entire drawer full. It flooded my entire kitchen," said Tricia. "He craps on my floor, and he must have been playing in it because he streaked it down the side of my walls. The stain is gone finally, thank goodness."

Coomes, who apparently slipped in through an open back door, "told police he didn't remember going into the home or using a spray nozzle in the kitchen":

He said he also didn't know how feces got on the carpet or why a t-shirt and a pair of underwear he was wearing ended up on the floor of the home.

The family was doubly insulted when, instead of dragging Coomes off to the hoosegow, police wrote him up for a pair of misdemeanors and gave him a lift home. Police later opened an internal affairs investigation on why he didn't face stiffer charges, and county prosecutors are now expected to pin a felony count on him, too.

Pressed to describe the entire affair, Tricia Gillaspy told KTVB: "It's just a mess."

[Screenshot: KTVB; h/t Vocativ]