In his strangely poetic mugshot, Gabriel Harris of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., appears to be the saddest man in the world, wracked with a deep and abiding pain we can hardly begin to comprehend. But was he upset at his arrest, or at being dragged away empty-handed from Taco Bell at 3 a.m.? Either seems pretty plausible when you're drunk.
Cops say that Harris, 33, drunkenly rode his bicycle into the drive-thru as Taco Bell was closing, and tried to put in an order. He refused to leave until he was served, so employees called the cops.
When they arrived, Harris was still sitting on his bike near the speaker. Officers claim he had a Swiss Army knife on his belt loop and grabbed the cop who tried to take it away from him. They wrestled him to the ground—which might explain the bloodied forehead in his mugshot—and charged him with resisting arrest.
Wanting Taco Bell when you're wasted is no crime, but there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it. It's weird to see these words in this order, but we can learn a lot from Charlie Sheen here. He's a maniac, but he's a maniac with a designated driver.