Decks Are Out, Porches Are In

Imagine if you could afford a house. Now, imagine if you could afford to have porch on that house. Sounds nice, right? Yeah, that's what lots of people are thinking now!

Says here in the Wall Street Journal that porches—which have always been nice, from the day they were invented through every hot summer day over the following hundreds of years and up to the present day, without exception—are popular again, after being less popular for a while, for some reason. The percentage of new homes that have porches has gone up by 50% in the past two decades. So if you want to be "in the know," hand over those Bitcoins to the builder man and tell him you want a porch—not a god damn deck!!!

As porches have grown in popularity, "deck" has become the new four-letter word of high-end home design. "We never use the word deck, it's a pejorative term; we always use the word porch. It could be any covered outdoor space," said Stephen Vanze, a partner in Barnes Vanze Architects in Washington, D.C. "We probably do 50 to 60 projects a year—almost all of them have a porch involved." Unlike an uncovered deck, which is stuck onto the exterior of the house, he explained, a porch is a well-designed outdoor room.

I want a nice porch—not a jumble of plywood stuck against my back door with Gorilla Glue!!! Got it???

If you're keeping track, garages are OUT, lawns are OUT, decks are DEFINITELY OUT, but porches are IN. Don't get caught having the wrong stuff on your house (embarrassing).

Now you just need some money.

[Photo of my house: Flickr]