Gawker: Dogs

25 Descriptions of the Strange Beast that Won the Westminster Dog Show

Maureen O'Connor — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:51:59 EST

Last night, a horribly inbred beast called "Malachy" was named Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. What is this thing? It is a... More »

Westminster Winner Announced; Is Cutesy Bootsy Booboo

Caity Weaver — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:11:00 EST

A Pekingese named Malachy won Best in Show at the 136th Westminster Kennel Club dog show Tuesday night, beating out the breed of dog you have even though it's obvious that that breed is the one that should have won. More »

Sometimes When Vice Throws a Party You Will See Dogs Sashaying in Assless Leather Chaps

Leah Beckmann — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:30:00 EST

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Last night, on the eve of New York Fashion Week, I attended Vice's 2012 Fashion Issue party. It's a Vice party -a doggy fashion show party, no less-so I expected the self-serious mob of ripped tights and v-neck shirts in the same way I expected the floppy-hat wearing doorgirl struggling to read from the VIP list. I even expected the promise of an open bar until midnight to mysteriously and abruptly end at 11. I had imagined Westminster meets Lincoln Center meets a sterilized petting zoo. What I got was the double-sided dildo scene from Requiem for a Dream. More »

What Do You Call a Large Loitering Group of Saint Bernard Dogs?

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:45:00 EST

"Adorable!" (Also potentially terrifying, but that is a matter of taste.) Happy Friday. More »

Believe It or Not, This Adorable Dog Is Also the Cutest Office Worker Ever [CLICK TO WATCH]

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:30:16 EST

He knows just where to take that receipt. More »

Dogs Need to Shut Up About Cats

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:23:02 EST

It's like hey, dogs, we get it. You hate cats. Fine. We heard you the first time and the second time and the one millionth time, with the barking. Maybe you should bark at a cat again? No, you should shut up! More »

Has the Obamas' Dog Been Lying About His Whereabouts?

Jim Newell — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:00:00 EST

The conspiracy theories are happening so fast now that they're basically resolved before they even start, but let's not let this one escape the eternal clutches of the Gawker Archives: Did the Portuguese water dog Bo Obama — who's already been under heavy Christmas card scrutiny this week — fly out to Hawaii with Michelle Obama and the kids, and then fly back just to Washington for a photo-op with President Obama? Imagine the cost to taxpayers! Congress, please get back to town for a quickie impeachment. More »

Gifts For Your Dog

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 16:30:00 EST

You love your dog. Far more than your emotionally distant heart could ever love a human. And why not? Your dog never did anything but express an evolutionarily advantageous convincing simulacrum of love for you. You must show your love back. You must! But what to get Nibbles and Rocky this holiday season? Only the best. More »

Dog Parks, White People Thrive in Cities

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:13:48 EST

A new report from The Trust for Public Land shows that although city parks in America only increased by 3% in the past five years, dog parks in American cities increased by 34% during that same period. More »

The Hypnotic Joy of a Doggie Disco

Maureen O'Connor — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:46:10 EST

Your entrancing YouTube ephemera of the day: A doggie disco from the late '70s, rescued from obscurity by the folks at Crazy Dave Tape. In a YouTube comment, the CDT crew says it's from an episode of The Chevy Chase Show. [YouTube via @JuliaKlausner] More »

Luxury Water Park for Dogs to Disgust Everyone in New York

Maureen O'Connor — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:00:46 EST

Lest there be any doubt that the purse dogs of Manhattan lead more glamorous lives than you do, check out this description of the "luxury dog run" planned for the upcoming $6.5 million renovation of TriBeCa's Hudson River Park: More »

The 'Christmas Quality, Hanukkah Pricing' Vodka Billboard Is Dead

Lauri Apple — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 05:58:00 EST

Less than 24 hours after making its debut alongside a Manhattan highway, Wodka vodka's anti-Semiticky billboard has been pulled down and converted into a "crumpled heap near the road," the New York Times reports. Now how will sophisticated dogs learn about America's hottest cheap-as-the-Jews spirit? More »

Vodka Billboard: 'Christmas Quality, Hanukkah Pricing'

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:01:01 EST

An alert reader sends us this photo of a Wodka™ brand Vodka billboard located on the West side of Manhattan, overlooking Riverside Drive. "CHRISTMAS QUALITY. HANUKKAH PRICING," it says. And there's a Santa dog, representing Christian quality, and a Jew dog, representing Hanukkah pricing, because the Jews are cheap—like Wodka™! More »

Stabbing Your Kids Is Okay Now

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:44:11 EST

Acupuncture kids! Stem cells! Text bullies! Boundary effect! Pig drugs! Tainted jerky! Elderly pain! Light brains! And the super Greek diet that will save us all! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—pointedly! More »

Pressured to Name Leader, Occupy Denver Elects Dog

Max Read — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:07:22 EST

Denver Mayor Michael Hancock insisted that his city's occupation name a leader in order "to deal with City and State officials." And he got his wish! Occupy Denver has elected Shelby, a border collie, as its leader. Long live Shelby! More »

What Will You Put in Your Space Garden?

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:06:47 EST

Dog evolution! Stroke surgery! Baby okapi! Computer hearts! Fast fish! Space gardens! Parkinson's treatment! Anthrax vaccine! And America loses the Red planet to the Reds! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—nobly! More »

Stephen Colbert's Pet-Friendly Economic Fix for America

Matt Cherette — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 01:17:49 EDT

Even though the cost of having a pet in the U.S. is skyrocketing, Americans aren't abandoning their cute little companions. In fact, many pets are now living more comfortably than unemployed humans and on tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert proposed a pretty unique solution to the financial problems plaguing so many Americans: If you can't beat the pets, be the pets. More »

Pets No Longer Worth It

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:56:39 EDT

Cover Miss Beasley's ears, because this might disturb her: pets simply are not affordable any longer. Dogs, cats—run free! And good luck out there. More »

It's Time to Stop Dressing Up Your Pets for Halloween

Leah Beckmann — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:21:07 EDT

According to Wendy Williams and this other lady whose parents must be very proud of her for becoming a "pet fashion stylist," it is very trendy and important to dress your dog up for Halloween because there are a lot of events you both should be attending. More »

Dude: Cop Slapped My Dog

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 09:31:53 EDT

What would cause a heartless jack-booted armed thug cop to heartlessly slap a tiny little bitty dog? (What!) A wee little Pomeranian mix, slapped out of a third story window? (No!) A tiny sweet little pet trying to protect his precious family, only to be heartlessly—heartlessly—slapped, by a cop, out of a window, falling three stories, its tiny body twisting as it plummeted to the hard, heartless ground below? (I never!) Outrageous! More »

Jill Abramson Vows to Manage Newsroom Like Dogs

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:57:22 EDT

Jill Abramson, the first female editor of the New York Times, is a capable journalist, a veteran editorial manager, and a crazy dog person. Guess which characteristic will be most important? More »

Comment of the Day: In Defense of Dogs

Richard Lawson — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:30:05 EDT

Today we said that your dog obsession is embarrassing. Which, OK, yes sometimes it can be. But dogs are also great! One commenter nicely reminded us of this fact. More »

Your Fascination With Your Dog Is an Embarrassment (To You)

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:57:48 EDT

Let's say you're a woman who's worked hard, climbed the ladder, and risen to the very pinnacle of your profession—a historic achievement. You're taken seriously as a writer, a thinker, and a boss; you alone have the power to set the agenda for how many of our most important issues are covered by the national and international media. You have made it. Why—hypothetically speaking—would you not shut up about your stupid dog? More »

French Bulldogs Suffer Airline Dogscrimination

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:31:48 EDT

Here's an interesting little "factoid," meaning "discriminatory outrage of Apartheid proportions:" in the year 2011 in the world's most free country (USA), many airlines do not allow bulldogs to fly. I mean, sure, those six bulldogs were indicted in connection with the 9/11 plot, but let's not paint the rest of them with such a broad brush, okay? More »

Woman Upset That Six Flags Rescued Her Dog From Her Hot Car, Then Lost Him

Seth Abramovitch — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:20:05 EDT

Meet Shalanon Brooks, the kind of functionally retarded person you encounter frequently in Southern California. Shalanon is the owner of a Pomeranian whom she named "Malibu." (See first sentence.) She didn't just buy Malibu, but was actually prescribed Malibu for "emotional support." (See first sentence again.) Shalanon went to spend a day riding roller coasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but when she realized the strap of her Louis Vuitton dog carrying-case had broken, she opted to leave Malibu in her car with the windows cracked open and some water and food. (See— Enh. You know the drill by now.) More »

Meet the Woman Who Punched a Bear to Save Her Dog

Max Read — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 19:25:45 EDT

Bears! Everyone agrees that they need to be put in their place. But only one woman in America is brave enough to do so: Brooke Collins of Juneau, Alaska, who punched a bear in the face to save her dog. More »

The Air You Breathe Is Laced With Dog Poop Bacteria

Lauri Apple — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 13:36:30 EDT

Earlier this week we learned that dogs are good for your respiratory system because they can smell your lung cancer. But are dogs also maybe bad for your lungs, because they manufacture poop that's loaded with airborne bacteria? More »

Dogs Can Smell Lung Cancer

Seth Abramovitch — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 03:35:42 EDT

Lung cancer, a notoriously hard-to-diagnose and deadly disease, has a new enemy: dogs! German researchers have discovered that they can actually smell it on your breath. More »

Doggie Day Cares Are the New Private Preschools

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:28:57 EDT

We know that your child is not good enough to get into one of the finer preschools in the New York City metropolitan area. But perhaps you can get your dog into a nice kennel? Well... we'll see. More »

South Korean Scientists Clone Glowing Dog

Max Read — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 16:40:00 EDT

You'd think that the successful breeding of a dog that glows under ultraviolet light would be, more or less, the successful completion of science. Why bother doing anything else, now that you made a dog glow? But no! Apparently this dog actually furthers, rather than completes, scientific endeavor: More »

Alexander McQueen Left $82,000 to His Dogs

Seth Abramovitch — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 02:01:53 EDT

Fashion designer Alexander McQueen, who committed suicide in February 2010, designated 50,000 pounds ($82,000) towards the care of his three dogs — Minter, Juice, and Callum, pictured — according to the will made public on Tuesday. More »

Internet Addiction Just as Bad as Real Addiction, But Not Cool

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 17:24:46 EDT

Fertile China! Psychic dogs! Killer papaya! ADHD safety! Internet addiction! Breastfeeding asthma! Shrinking brains! Love psychology! And uncalled-for lizard posing! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—out of sheer desperation! More »

Mother, Daughter Both Receive DUIs in Space of an Hour

Max Read — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 21:54:00 EDT

It's never a good idea to drink and drive. But it's especially not a good idea when you are driving to the police station. To pick up your daughter's dog. After she was arrested for a DUI. More »

Chihuahua Humiliates Smoke Shop Robbers

Jeff Neumann — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 05:15:21 EDT

So it turns out that yappy little accessory dogs actually might be good for something! In today's wacky animal video, security camera footage from Ace Smoke Shop in Altadena, California shows armed robbers being chased out of the store by the shop owner's raging Chihuahua. The robbers did manage to make off with some cash, but the LA Times notes that it was "less money than they could've gotten." More »

Swedish Police Have a Sperm-Sniffing Dog

Jeff Neumann — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 07:27:37 EDT

Police in southern Sweden have a new tool for fighting sex crimes — a dog named Rapports Opus that is trained to sniff out sperm at crime scenes. According to English-language newspaper The Local, police in the town of Karlskrona have arrested a 23-year-old man and charged him with rape after Rapports Opus was brought to a park in the town where a woman was sexually assaulted: More »

Dog Bites Morrissey

Jeff Neumann — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 08:26:00 EDT

Casually xenophobic British ultra-nationalist Morrissey was bitten by a dog of unknown origin and — holy shit — he cracked a bone in his finger! Sycophants across the world are understandably worried about him but, according to True To You, his current tour will not be affected: More »

Woman Dies of Allergic Reaction to the Dog She Had Sex With

Brian Moylan — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 15:34:29 EDT

After reading this weird news story, you will never have to read another weird news story ever again. It has everything: an insane premise, crazy people, crushing irony, sex, crime, and sex crime. It seems an Irish woman died after an allergic reaction to a dog—a dog she had sex with. Yes. Really. More »

Drunk Puppy Buying Plagues Manhattan Pet Stores

Maureen O'Connor — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 12:54:35 EDT

As if it weren't enough to ruin driving, drunks have now ruined puppies. DNAInfo reports on the West Village's drunk puppy buying epidemic: More »

Michigan State Student Is Alleged Dog Serial Killer

Seth Abramovitch — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 01:34:45 EDT

A student attending Michigan State's College of Osteopathic Medicine was charged with 13 felonies and one misdemeanor in connection with the killing, mutilating, or torturing dogs — Italian Greyhounds, to be precise. More »

San Francisco Could Ban All Pet Sales

Ryan Tate — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 15:18:27 EDT

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors might ban sales of all pets, including fish, reptiles, rats, birds, dogs and cats. Selling live animals to kill and eat would still be legal. Naturally. More »