If there’s one thing Donald Trump loves, it’s his smokin’ hot daughter Ivanka. But if there are two things Donald Trump loves, the second is most definitely drama. Trump’s latest source? None other than the Holy Father himself: Cool Pope Francis.

Earlier today, Cool Pope Francis suggested that Donald Trump might not be as pious as he claims, saying, “A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian.” It’s worth noting that Jesus, a carpenter, did likely build both walls and bridges.

Regardless, noted fan of the Bible Donald Trump is furious.

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In a statement to the press, Trump explained that “the Mexican government fed the Pope a tremendous amount of stuff about me: ‘Trump is not a good person.’” Tremendous amount of stuff indeed.

Why was the Mexican government going to the Vatican to attack Trump? How does Trump know so much about ISIS’s secret agenda? Will Donald Trump’s approval rating rise to an unprecedented 100 percent? Good question, better question, and almost definitely.

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Still, to make the feud official, Trump of course had to release a statement. It is my genuine honor to present to you what is perhaps the most perfect document ever wrought by human hands.

Remember when we all thought that Donald Trump would never actually be a serious candidate and haha what a lark?

What a time to be alive.