Earlier this month, the Oregon police produced a video recorded inside the truck of LaVoy Finicum, the radical gunman who helped occupy a federal bird refuge before he was ultimately shot to death in a highway confrontation. Now, you can watch the militiaman practically beg to be killed in the final moments of his life.

The video itself isn’t graphic, though it does depict a fatal shootout: After being pulled over for his role in the criminal occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, Finicum refuses to leave his vehicle as instructed. Instead, he shouts, over and over, that he would rather die: “You can go ahead and shoot me! Put the laser right there, put the bullet through the head!”

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He then shouts that the situation is “gonna get real” and that the cops will “have my blood on your hands.” After a lot more yelling to this effect, Finicum guns the car in an attempt to flee the police—only to be stopped at a roadblock, which forces him to veer into the snow and, finally, leave the car. As he steps out of the vehicle, he clearly yells, “Go ahead and shoot me!”

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The police did fatally shoot him, but not, they say, because he explicitly requested it: An aerial FBI recording appears to show that Finicum reached across his body multiple times, possibly in an attempt to grab the semi-automatic handgun he was carrying (the militia continues to dispute this account).

After Finicum is killed, fellow militia member Shawna Cox yells, “You assholes,” at which point the car’s windows are shot out and peppered with gas rounds. The other passengers, including an 18-year-old girl, eventually surrendered.