On Saturday, Jesus Mabalot, a 38-year-old resident of Anchorage, Alaska, went to his church's picnic at a state park campground. While there, he presumably mingled and talked with his fellow churchgoers. He reportedly drank throughout the afternoon, and, at some point, stuffed his backpack with BBQ. Then he split off from the group and biked down a nearby road, where he encountered a black bear.
"I guess he had too a bit too much to drink, he got on his bike, and took a ride down the road," Alaska Department of Fish and Game spokesman Ken Marsh told ABC News. "He had meat in his day pack when he ran into a bear."
So like any normal person, Mabalot ran, or biked, in the opposite direction, right? Wrong. He decided to stick around to share his BBQ leftovers with the bear.
"He threw some meat to the bear, and the bear ate it. He threw another chunk, and the bear ate it and attacked him," Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Beth Ipsen said. "It was really brief and really quick.”
Later that afternoon, campground host found Mabalot, bloodied, bruised, and probably still drunk, washing himself off in a nearby river. Mablaot was taken to a nearby hospital where he was treated for minor injuries, including scratches, bruises and a small puncture wound in his jaw.
Officials say Mabalot was “lucky to be alive,” though that didn't stop them from making matters slightly worse for him; authorities fined him $310 for feeding wildlife, which is illegal in Alaska.
In related news, if you encounter a bear in the wild, do not pretend to be dead. Also, do not feed it BBQ from your backpack.
To contact the author of this post, email email@example.com