A New Mexico man who was drinking, driving, speeding, and having sex all at the same time unsurprisingly crashed his car into another vehicle after running a red light.
It gets much better.
After his Ford Explorer struck the other car, 25-year-old Luis Briones' road sex partner Natasha Carroll, 21, was ejected from the SUV, landing naked on the 2600 block of Albuquerque's Pennsylvania NE.
Luckily, a vigilant witness was able to remove Briones' keys from the ignition, forcing him to flee on foot.
Not quite done being the drunkest driver who ever drank, Briones, naked save for one shoe and a pair of black shorts worn inside-out, decided to hide from the authorities in a nearby cactus patch.
A half-full bottle of vodka was later found in his car.
Carroll was taken to a nearby hospital where she was treated for facial lacerations. It is unclear if she too will be charged with a crime.