Well, Internet science.
The good folks at BuzzFeed have subjected one of their own to two forms of inebriation — marijuana and alcohol — in order to test "if people function better drunk or stoned."
For the record, the marijuana used in the production of this experiment "was obtained and consumed legally in California."
The alcohol requires no excuses because why should a drug found to be more harmful than crack be difficult to buy, am I right?
Now let the games begin.