Gawker: Dude

'Help! I Need Money for Weed' Sign Is a Freaking Gold Mine

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:13:22 EST

Out of work? Hard up for cash? Why not just post up in Times Square with "Help! I Need Money For Weed!" scrawled on an inexpensive piece of posterboard? Works for Josh Long! From the NYT: More »

Medical Marijuana Industry Discovers Foolproof Legal Strategy

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 09:38:00 EST

Medical marijuana is a very controversial issue for cities across America, pitting individual freedoms against municipal concerns with a backdrop of blah blah, [boilerplate "on the one hand, on the other hand" here]. The real question is: how can medical marijuana win, forever? A foolproof legal strategy is now emerging. More »

All Stereotypes About Teens, Race, Drugs Proven True

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:50:49 EST

A comprehensive new national study says that white kids are way more likely to be druggies than either black kids or Asian kids, but the biggest druggies of all are Native American kids. Specifically: More »

Reggae Star Caught With Stereotypically Huge Quantity of Weed

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 09:12:19 EDT

Denroy Morgan, an old-timey Jamaican reggae star, got pulled over in the Bronx on Friday with 25 pounds of weed in his trunk. Oh crikey, can you be any more stereotypical, Denroy Morgan? More »

Grownups Are Worried About The Chronic

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:58:24 EDT

In the olden days, your parents used to smoke weed that was not chemically distinguishable from banana peels, which gave them a "hippy dippy" feeling, the most dangerous side effect of which was an affinity for neo-folk tunes. Today, you kids smoke chronic and shoot each other, or at least make up "freestyle raps" about same. More »

Dandyish Magazine-Editing Popinjays Hilariously Described as 'Dudes'

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 18 May 2011 12:19:15 EDT

Alert: straight men are editing magazines—in Manhattan! At least three of them. It's enough to make a media reporter lose his mind, contemplating the trend possibilities. Are magazines ready for "dudes?" Masculine dudes? More »

Kids Love Weed More Than Sugar

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 15:22:02 EST

Vitamin sleep! Radiation babies! Sugar cereal! Fat Scots! Hotel workouts! Soda tax! Alzheimer's explanations! And the war on drugs pays off! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—if you can call it that! More »

The Death of the American Dream World

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 10:20:29 EST

Now there's a peyote scarcity. On top of everything else. More »

Orthodox Jews Also Huge Stoners

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 13:45:24 EDT

Does Berkeley-made Orthodox Jewish Cannabis Lotion really cure eczema? Vote yes on Prop 19 and find out! More »

Hippie Papers 'High' on Wacky Weed Funny Money

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 10:28:06 EDT

Medical marijuana ads are providing much-needed revenue to alt-weeklies across America. Good news financially—and journalistically. What do publishers say? "The joke around here is that it's a budding business." Hahaha. Mercy. Okay, you got us. [NYT] More »

L.A. Incredibly Ungrateful For its Legal Weed Spots

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 10:09:00 EDT

Has any legal drug mecca fallen out of favor as quickly as the city of Los Angeles? Just last year, it had 600 legal weed spots. A government crackdown cut that to less than 200. And now, it gets worse! More »

Is Alex Bogusky a Sociopath?

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 16:42:43 EDT

Rock star adman Alex Bogusky abruptly retired from advertising this summer, saying he wanted to pursue other, more righteous initiatives. Has Burger King's greatest pitchman really had a change of heart? Or is his narcissistic personality disorder acting up again? More »

Growing Weed to Become Just as Corporate as Everything Else

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:58:36 EDT

In a bid to reassert itself as the dominant force in American life, Capitalism today announced that it plans to immediately counteract the coolness of the legalization of medical marijuana by poisoning it with the awfulness of factory farming. More »

No, You Cannot Trademark the Term 'Chronic'

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:43:24 EDT

After indicating earlier this year that it would create a new category specifically for medical marijuana trademarks, the US Patent and Trademark Office has now reversed itself. Which is good, because, dude. You cannot trademark "Maui Wowie." Come on, dude. More »

DC's Weed Triumph, L.A.'s Weed Shame

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 05 May 2010 10:31:04 EDT

As the weeded citizenry hoped, the DC City Council yesterday legalized medical marijuana in the District. Let chiefas ring, from Hobart Street to Georgetown! Alas—across the country, the weedheads of Los Angeles were simultaneously receiving terrible news. More »

New York: Best City for Dudes' Night Out

Jeff Neumann — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 05:20:52 EDT

And it's still a decent place to get laid, too, according to a new poll from askmen.com that ranks the 29 best cities for dudes to totally live in. The city received a perfect score for nightlife. More »

The Medicinal Potential of Hallucinogenic Drugs: An Assessment

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 10:08:51 EDT

The whole hallucinogens-as-medicine thing is back! Scientist are conducting very strict scientific tests on psychedelic drugs as a treatment for depression. Allow us to save the doctors some trouble. We present our own research findings on this important topic below. More »

Malepocalypse: Metrosexuals by Another Name

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:14:19 EST

As if men didn't have enough to worry about, with all the sports viewing: prepare for "the biggest array of product launches for men in nearly a decade and maybe ever." Translation, fellas: corporate America's comin' fer yer balls. More »

Weedheads Waste $8.7 Million

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:02:51 EST

California researchers spent $8.7 million on this: "Four [studies] showed that cannabis can significantly relieve neuropathic pain and one found that vaporizers are an effective way to use marijuana." We'll conservatively estimate $8.6 million as weed expenses. [LAT] More »

L.A. No Longer the Mecca of Legal Weed

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 13:35:16 EST

After a shining moment as one big weed spot, the L.A. City Council has voted to cut the number of medical marijuana dispensaries there by more than 90%. The government, dude. This is quite an inconvenience for smokin' commuters. [AP] More »

The Government and Shit Is the Problem

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 11:42:16 EST

Here's a story on how doctors are hesitant to prescribe marijuana because they don't have enough scientific information about it, and here's a story about how the government refuses to approve studies of marijuana's medical properties. Hmm. [Pic via] More »

New Jersey Representing Hardcore in Medical Marijuana Wars

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 09:44:43 EST

New Jersey, a small state hidden under New York City, appears ready to legalize medical marijuana. Maybe before the end of the year! About time. The West Coast is kicking the East Coast's ass at legal weed. More »

Washington Post Was Probably So High on Marijuana They Didn't Notice, Ha

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 10:08:01 EST

Washington Post Was Probably So High on Marijuana They Didn't Notice, Ha" alt="Click here to read Washington Post Was Probably So High on Marijuana They Didn't Notice, Ha" src="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/7/2009/11/weedchimpmunk.jpg"/>

Kudos to the Washington Post for its Style section feature today on Med Grow Cannabis College. Who ever heard of such a thing?! Wait. The New York Times had it when? Saturday? This past Saturday? Fucking fuckity fuck. More »

Drink Your Bong Water

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:34:22 EDT

The Minnesota Supreme Court has ruled that bong water counts as a controlled substance, and you can be prosecuted for it. Who's that knocking on the door? Drink up, hippies. More »

L.A. Still Total Weed Spot, No Thanks to Lame-o District Attorney

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:29:35 EDT

Obama's willing to look the other way on the medical marijuana thing. You know who is not, though? Lawmen in L.A., which is now one big legal weed spot. They are such bitches. More »

The War of the Cloves

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 10:14:48 EDT

Dude, the government lets cigarettes be legal even though they kill like thousands of people. But weed is illegal. And now, dude, cloves are illegal. Cloves! The taste proves they're not killing you! Clove-smoking hippies are fighting back. With cloves! More »

Branding Weed

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 10:44:26 EDT

With the inevitable recession-inspired legalization of marijuana in mind, Print magazine asked some design shops to propose packaging ideas for legal weed. And they agreed, because they love drugs! Click through for a good one, and a bad one. More »

Funemployed All Becoming Yoga Hippies

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:41:38 EDT

As the ranks of America's idle funemployed swell, many are asking themselves, "Dude, what am I gonna do with myself?" Their answer, increasingly: "I am gonna have a yoga party all day every day, in exchange for room and board." More »

Marijuana Smoker Lands Fast Food Job

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:05:04 EDT

While you were all just hanging out last weekend swimming in a pool and smoking weed, Michael Phelps was being quietly reintroduced as a pitchman for Subway. More »

We Know Him Well

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:19:01 EDT

Manic, floating disembodied eyeball in dark alley teaches kids about drugs. As always! More »

Government Not Totally Cool With Weed

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:54:10 EDT

Were you under the impression that our new president had pretty much legalized medical marijuana by telling the feds to stop going after growers and sellers? Not quite! More »

Los Angeles Just One Big Weed Spot

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:56:03 EDT

There are now 600 medical marijuana dispensaries operating in Los Angeles, thanks to a legal loophole. Thanks, The Recession and Attorney General Holder and, most of all, incompetent LA City Council legal staff! This procedural goof's for you, Peter Tosh. More »

This Recession Will Legalize Weed Before It's Over

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 07 May 2009 12:22:11 EDT

Barack Obama has already sent subtle signals that the Feds have no interest in prosecuting medical marijuana distributors. Now Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to "study" legalizing marijuana in California. Weed money is too good to resist! More »

Weed Cures Cancer!

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:45:01 EDT

Tetrahydrocannabinol has been demonstrated to induce human glioma cell death through stimulation of autophagy! That means that weed totally cures cancer. Dude. More »

That 'Legalize Medical Marijuana' Thing: Not a Joke

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 10:40:32 EDT

We suspected it; you prayed for it (especially you, hippie); now it has actually happened: the US government is no longer coming after your "medical" marijuana. Dude: More »

Obama Pretty Much Legalizes Marijuana

Hamilton Nolan — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 12:00:00 EST

We don't want to over-excite anyone out there on the West Coast who may currently be engaged in wake-and-bake, but marijuana is now, for all practical purposes, legal in 13 states. Thanks to Obama! More »

Your Tucker Max Movie Update

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:28:28 EST

Remember brotastic internet niche figure Tucker Max and his objectively awful movie script? Where the hell is that flick, huh? Here, your full update on I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, the movie: More »

Prehistoric Weed Revealed!

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:01:08 EST

Remember how scientists recently uncovered that 2,700-year-old stash of weed in a grave in China? Well here it is, in all its 2,700-year-old glory. Oldie was sitting on some straight up Kryptonite. Click to enlarge. [Journal of Experimental Botany via Animal] More »

Dude

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:27:05 EST

Scientists have found a 2,700-year-old, two-pound stash of weed in a grave in China. Dude. [MSNBC] More »

"That, of course, after they sparked the weed they had come to smoke."

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:24:23 EDT

Which is funnier: hippie college kids engaging in a weed smoking festival, or the local paper trying to cover that event in respectable language? You decide! In honor of 4/20, 10,000 kids at the University of Colorado hit the quad for a massive smoke-out, and the Boulder Daily Camera was on the scene to record all the magical high-ass quotes that spilled forth from the participants. Here is just one, from freshman Emily Benson: "We're at the starting point of a movement," she said. "This is a big part of the reason I applied here — for the weed atmosphere." Ha, yes you did! And there are so many more: More »