Gawker: Duh

Resolved: Justin Bieber Doesn't Sell Magazines

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 11:43:38 EDT

Vanity Fair put tween masturbatorium fodder Justin Bieber on its February cover, and look what happened: it was the worst-selling issue in 12 years. What went wrong? More »

Teen Not Very Savvy About Mansion-Squatting, Dating

Lauri Apple — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:38:31 EDT

There are so many legal ways to impress your lady, like producing funny sitcoms or taking her to P.F. Chang's. Moving her family into a stranger's "multimillion dollar" vacation home that you've broken into is not one of these ways, as young Todd Blauvelt now probably realizes. More »

Obama to World: 'I Have My Own Computer'

Seth Abramovitch — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 22:58:22 EDT

During an interview on Monday, Univision news anchor Jorge Ramos asked President Barack Obama whether or not he had his own computer, eliciting the sassy retort above. He's the freaking POTUS. Of course he has his own computer! That the interview happened to be part of a town hall for students, parents and teachers at Bell Multicultural High School, in D.C.'s Columbia Heights, kind of works against the whole cool-factor, however: Now every teenager in America can say, "I was just trying to be more like the President!" the next time they respond to a teacher's earnest query by cracking wise in class. [via The Daily What] More »

Wearing Glasses Will Get You a Better Job

Brian Moylan — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 15:24:31 EST

A new study finds people who wear glasses to interviews are more intelligent and more likely to get hired. Also, 40% of people say they'd wear fake glasses to interviews to land a job. File both those findings under "Duh." More »

Students Drink More While Studying Abroad

Max Read — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:11:08 EDT

A shocking new study indicates that students drink more alcohol while studying abroad—on average doubling weekly intake to ten drinks. Drinking returned to normal when students came back, though rates of saying "when I was in Europe" tripled. More »

Mississippi Woman Says 'Orgasm' in Public

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:20:07 EDT

The Mississippi Public Broadcasting programming director who canceled Fresh Air explains: "the language [Terry Gross] uses - a lot of people of Mississippi are not accustomed to hearing. They're not accustomed to hearing word ‘orgasm' on the air." [Current/ Romenesko] More »

'Lack of Money Is the Root of All Evil'

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:57:05 EDT

A new study shows that money does buy happiness, after all. No shit. More »

CNN Thinks Google Earth 'Blurred Out' Times Square After Attack

Ravi Somaiya — Sun, 02 May 2010 17:19:36 EDT

On CNN, discussing the attempted Times Square bombing, anchor Don Lemon asked former FBI Assistant Director Tom Fuentes why the area was "blurred out on Google Earth because of this security alert." Fuentes, ignorantly, said it was a security measure. More »

Some Things Never Change

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 10:56:00 EDT

Consumer insight from the top minds in advertising: people these days like free money. More »

Shocker: Illegal Government Spying Is Illegal

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 09:30:31 EDT

A federal judge ruled yesterday that the N.S.A.'s covert wiretap program targeting who knows how many US citizens without court approval was (and is!) illegal. Of fucking course it is, come on. But...but...but what if Obama does it? More »

Darn: Steroids Have a Downside

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:36:37 EST

Oh shoot, unexpected setback: Steroids may not be 100% good, for your body. The outside of your body, yes, totally ripped bro. But inside, ripped in the bad sense, like "your kidney has a rip in it, bro, ugly." More »

Lazy Sex Pervs

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:08:08 EST

An ad for a body waxing business shows a hairless beaver. There's also a hairless kitty and a hairless cock. When did we stop trying? [Copyranter, who would also like to show you Mona Lisa's tits.] More »

So You're Into Haggis?

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:30:55 EST

Yesterday we received a press release. It declared, "Hello! I recently found your blog post about Haggis and want to introduce you to our website." Oh? Which blog post was that? More »

Although Junior Mints Have

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:45:30 EST

Since the last terrifying report 15 years ago, movie theater popcorn has not become healthy. More »

Fake Sprite Ad Director Speaks: It Was Fake. Duh.

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:13:02 EDT

Max Isaacson, who directed the fake Sprite Blow Job Spec Ad that was too hot for the world emails: it was a spec ad. Not a real ad. Not connected to the Coca-Cola Company! Hopefully they won't sue him now. More »

Clay Aiken, Broadway Star and American Idol, Reveals Shocking Gayness

Richard Lawson — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:39:00 EDT

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Not since the University of Alaska's 2006 study proving that bears do, in fact, shit in the woods has a more exciting and revelatory discovery been made: on the cover of the new issue of People magazine, American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken comes out of the closet. Yes I know. Take a seat and a deep breath before continuing. The long-suspected homosexual (who got caught trolling for gay internet sex a few years back) recently had a kid through a surrogate and starred on Broadway in Spamalot. He made his decision to come out because he realized he "cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things." Welcome to the world, sir. But wait, first Lindasy Lohan comes out on the radio and now this?? Who's next, Anderson Cooper? [Towleroad] (Seriously, though, good for him. All the best.) More »

Celebrity Media Finally Ready to Admit That Lindsay Lohan Is Dating a Girl

Richard Lawson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:36:00 EDT

Oh look, everyone's finally starting to catch on to the whole Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson clambake. The Mirror is reporting that deejay Sam's deejay/producer brother Mark and his girlfriend approve of her lesbadoodle relationship with actress and former skiing enthusiast Lindsay. Mark's girlfriend Daisy (also a deejay?) says "Their relationship is totally genuine. And they're just so sweet together." Aw, that's nice. Couple that with the new Life & Style magazine cover (above), and it looks as though the mainstream celebrity-industrial complex is finally ready to accept what people like us have been talking about for a month. Though, heh, we were a little slow to catch on, too. Now I'm not going to get into the whole "this would be so much different if it were two men" thing, so I'll just leave you with a video of Ronson after the jump. More »

Shocking Statistics: Mostly Women Plan to See Sex and the City

Richard Lawson — Tue, 27 May 2008 10:50:00 EDT

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Friends, we are just four short days away from the Sex and the City movie. The most important film ever shot in New York (and the most important film about women, ever) is getting huge buzz and, as it turns out, advance ticket sales. Fandango, the largest of the online-ticketing sites (think: annoying paper bag pre-movie ads) says that 94% of polled ticket buyers are ladies, and that 67% of pre-orderers are planning to go in a large group. My Chinatown bus straw poll yielded the same results: this gawker overheard a woman loudly talking on her cell phone saying that "I want it to be a whole night, we'll go to the movie, then get apple martinis. You, me, Jeannie, Donna, Tina. All the girls. Apple martinis, yeah. A whole Sex and the City theme." (She then yapped for an hour more about God knows what). Like The Devil Wears Prada before it, the SATC movie could prove that movies with a near-exclusive female audience can still be box office hits. For the few non-gay men in the audience it's a good thing that Miranda inexplicably shoots two handguns at once and then Samantha blows up about halfway through. [AP] More »

SPOILER ALERT

Richard Lawson — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:41:00 EDT

Gossip Girl mom Kelly Rutherford (delightful actress, superfluous character) just let slip the true identity of the 'mo on the show. Oops! More »

The Paper Of Record Weighs In

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:49:42 EST

"Does Weight Lifting Make a Better Athlete?" Yes. DUH. [NYT] More »

Guess What? The Internet Made Patrick Moberg Famous!

Emily Gould — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:12:04 EST

NY Press's Matt Elzweig thinks that subway love dreamfinders Patrick Moberg and Camille Hayton's rise to quasi-fame has something to do with Jakob Lodwick and Julia Allison's 'connections to Gawker.' "There's an implication that because of your ongoing relationship with both Gawker and Patrick Moberg, that you may have had something to do with the 11/5 and 11/6 items on Gawker about Moberg," he wrote to Jakob on 11/26, in a chain of emails that, in the spirit of "Hey, I tried," Matt saw fit to include in today's cover article. "Did that connection (between you and Gawker) have anything to do with its reporting on the Moberg story? Did Gawker learn about the video and/or Moberg's website directly from you? (If not, how do you suppose they did learn about it?)" Huh? More »

Is The "Four Hour Workweek" Guy On To Something?

Emily Gould — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 13:00:51 EST

So the cover article in this week's Sunday Styles section was about this guy Timothy Ferriss, who has become a guru to the rich nerds of Silicon Valley by advocating an "information diet"—"his methods include practicing 'selective ignorance'—tuning out pointless communiqués, random Twitters, and even world affairs (Mr. Ferriss says he gets most of his news by asking waiters)." Though he admits to not practicing what he preaches, his disciples say that adhering to these rules makes them feel "peaceful." Could this advice help me do my job better and faster? I had to wonder. More »

They Tried To Make Amy Winehouse Go To Rehab, She Said 'Oh, Fine.'

Emily Gould — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 11:10:08 EDT

The British soul singer, whose recent collapse shocked maybe the people who thought that Kate Moss and Pete Doherty's relationship was going to go the distance or that Anna Nicole Smith was going to live to be 100, has checked herself into The Priory clinic in London, according to the ever-reliableish Daily Mirror. (By the way, Doherty is a "successful" graduate of The Priory!) That esteemed publication has also found some quasi-friends and family sources to interview, including Amy's husband Blake Fielder-Civil's dad, who shares this insight: "[Blake] told me he was very worried about her. He admitted they both drank and did drugs but that came as no surprise." It didn't? More »

Fortune editor David Kirkpatrick catches...

Megan McCarthy — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 19:10:37 EDT

Fortune editor David Kirkpatrick catches a clue, says he won't use the silly iMeme name for next year's conference. [The Sam Whitmore Sampler] More »

Loser Girls Are Friends With Their Moms

Emily Gould — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:40:20 EDT

Today, Times chronicler of our dumbassest life-minutia Stephanie Rosenbloom tries to figure out what's up with kind of girl who calls her mom four times a day to talk about the weather and what she ate and stuff. So, Stephanie, what gives? More »

"So the national obsession with celebrity...

Emily Gould — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 09:50:55 EDT

"So the national obsession with celebrity culture has come to this. Even at their worst, hot young actresses can move product, and fashion companies that in the past would have shied away from provocateurs are less reticent to embrace them." [NYT] More »

Was Foxy Lady Fired For Hitting On A Gay?

Emily Gould — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 09:40:13 EDT

"Which cable chat up-and-comer was fired after her efforts to glom onto the network's marquee name and a gay anchor freaked them both out?" asks Ben Widdicombe today. Oh hmm! We haven't devoted much thought to this before (or have we?) Let's try to puzzle this out, poll-style! More »

McSweeney's publisher Eli Horowitz on their...

Emily Gould — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 10:16:04 EDT

McSweeney's publisher Eli Horowitz on their save-our-asses Ebay auction: "I'm sure if we keep this going, we'll get more and more misguided. We're never sure how far to expand into ridiculousness." [NYM] More »

Authors Are Self-Dramatizing Crybabies

Emily Gould — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 10:35:13 EDT

Pity the poor souls still laboring under the delusion that book-writing can potentially be a lucrative, fulfilling career. Or, like, don't! Today, we learn of some of the pitfalls and dashed expectations that, yes, even published authors find themselves coming up against. Such as: even a six-figure advance isn't really enough to live on for a year once your agent's 15% comission has been subtracted and you've had to pay for your own permissions. Also, did you know that writing alone in your room all day can be depressing? More »

Youngsters Shocked By Sex In The Office

Emily Gould — Wed, 23 May 2007 16:33:29 EDT

From the message board of Ed2010, the organization whose young members vow they will be magazine editors by 2010 (three years left, guys!):

I just found out that a girl I really respected (a fellow future magazine editor) is sleeping with one of her bosses!!!!!!! He is nearly 10 years older than her. Even if the relationship is for real I still find it really disappointing and disheartening. Is this what it's come to? Doing the deed with an editor she knows will likely help her get a job?

In a word: Yup! More »

'Times' Brings Earthshattering Rich Baby News!

Emily Gould — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:59:26 EDT

Since 2000, according to census figures released last year, the number of children under age 5 living in Manhattan mushroomed by more than 32 percent. And though their ranks have been growing for several years, a new analysis for The New York Times makes clear for the first time who has been driving that growth: wealthy white families.

"'We knew Manhattan was having a baby boom,' said Andrew A. Beveridge, a demographer at Queens College of the City University of New York, who conducted the analysis. 'Now we know who's having the babies.'" Get the fuck out, dude. —Emily More »

Williamsburg: "Where Would All The Puerto Ricans Go"?

Emily Gould — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 10:50:22 EST

Hey, have you heard about Williamsburg? Apparently, it's this Brooklyn neighborhood that used to be an industrial ghetto, and then it was a secret haven of artists and Orthodox Jews. Now it's a really cool and cutting-edge place to live—except that luxury condos rising on the newly rezoned waterfront are about to displace the last remnants of the old neighborhood. How nefarious! How shocking. Luckily, the Washington Post has come to town! More »

So What You're Saying Is That Paris Hilton Wasn't A Great SNL Host?

Emily Gould — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 15:25:00 EST

In addition to "shedding her Barbie hair" and never asking anyone in the cast a single personal question that didn't have to do with Maya Rudolph's mysterious non-white skintone, Paris Hilton proved herself to be a "piece of shit" host quite literally, Eat the Press reports.

According to my SNL-insider source, when Hilton hosted, she toted her dog Tinkerbell with her the whole time. And one day during the week, little Tinkerbell took a little doggie crap on the floor of the Talent Office, just outside of where Lorne Michaels' office is.

There you have it, folks: Paris Hilton is totally an immature, retarded, sloppy twatwaffle. Is it the weekend yet? More »

Tina Fey Reveals That Paris Hilton Is Dumb

Emily Gould — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 13:50:00 EST

On Howard Stern this morning, Tina Fey opened up about what a "nightmare" it was to have Paris Hilton as a "piece of shit" guest host.

The cast had a running bet to see if the self-obsessed Hilton would ask a single personal question to any cast member at any time during the entire week. She asked one, according to Fey, to Seth Meyers, about the ethnicity of another cast mate.

Celebs: 'You Should Vote And Stuff'

Emily Gould — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 09:10:00 EST

With races as locked-up as these seem, it can be hard to motivate oneself to wake up even earlier to make it to the polls. We know. Boy, do we ever know. So in case you need some convincing that the adorable 'I voted!' sticker is worth all that extra effort, the Daily News has rounded up some "celebrities" to explain the glory of performing your civic duty. Read, and be inspired. More »

'Slate' Sets The Record Straight Re: Borat

Emily Gould — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 16:25:00 EST

Slate scribe Eric Weiner has a vested interest in clearing up Sascha Baron Cohen's misrepresentations: he just adopted a Kazakh baby. So just in case you missed Kazakhstan's 4-page NYT ad and/or have no sense of humor or ability to discern fact from fiction, guess what: Kazakh women can vote and drive and Kazakh horses can't, "khrum" is not the word for testicles, and Kazakh wine isn't made from fermented horse urine ("It just tastes like it.") Outside the realm of duh, though, the article's best mythbust has to be this one: More »

TimesSelect Gives Unique Insight You Can't Find Anywhere Else

Jesse — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 10:20:00 EDT

Who the... what the... how the... huh?! The real test of whether Democrats can take back Congress will come when there are actually elections for Congress, in November?! Christ, really? See, with members-only wisdom like that, no wonder TimesSelect is a success. More »

'Washington Post' Discovers the Wingman; Circ Keeps Falling

Jesse — Wed, 31 May 2006 14:40:08 EDT

Why is it, newspaper people always wonder, that the younger generation doesn't read our product? Why do kids find us irrelevant, they ask. And why don't the special youth-targeted things we publish help attract them, the bigshots wonder. More »

Sonic Youth For the Oddly Prescient

Jessica — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 08:12:00 EST

From an article in today's Times, we "discover" that teens and their baby-boomer parents are embracing the vintage rocker aesthetic: More »