In Pennsylvania, the best kind of political scandal is unfolding: one with leaked emails, bad jokes, hardcore porn, photoshopped pictures of Sarah Palin, and a dash of old-fashioned racism. Best of all, it’s a scandal that absolutely no one will come out of looking good.
Kathleen Kane, the state’s attorney general, is awaiting trial on misconduct charges stemming from her alleged leak of confidential documents to the Philadelphia Daily News. Kane’s alleged leak was apparently intended as retaliation against investigators in her predecessor’s office who handled the child sex abuse case against Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky.
Kane, a Democrat, made a campaign promise to find out whether her Republican predecessor purposefully prolonged the Sandusky investigation for political reasons. Her office’s investigation concluded that no such intentional delay had taken place, but the probe sparked a “bitter feud” with the investigators, the Associated Press reports.
The story might have ended there, except that Kane’s investigation also uncovered hundreds of porny emails and racist memes sent between state officials on government accounts. Many of them were sent by Frank Fina, a prosecutor formerly with the AG’s office who now works for the Philadelphia District Attorney. Kane claims that the criminal charges against her were trumped up to protect the men whose horny correspondence she uncovered, and began releasing the emails as a counterattack.
Fina sent these particularly doofy instances of that doofy “fake motivational poster” meme, along with a bunch of other more sexually explicit poster parodies, many of which involve men in suits getting blow jobs. Here’s a censored version of one of the porny ones.
Another AG’s office official named Robert Soop forwarded a cache of faked nude Sarah Palin photos to his coworkers. The email originated with a man who does not appear to be a government employee, who included an expressively punctuated caption showing his appreciation of the craftsmanship that went into creating the images.
And Fina sent some bad “jokes,” including this one about tennis star Simona Halep.
Mostly, though, the boys sent around lots and lots of pictures of vaginas, some censored versions of which are presented below.
You get it.
Environmental Protection Secretary Christopher Abruzzo resigned over the leak, as did Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus P. McCaffery. Frank Fina has thus far retained his job at the Philly DA.
Kathleen Kane has threatened to release more emails, and the Philadelphia Inquirer is attempting to legally compel her to publicize them. According to the AP, the state capitol is “ablaze with speculation” about who is next to be exposed. If you’re a horny old man in the Pennsylvania state government, you might start considering another line of work.