Everyone with half a brain knows that the dankest memes on the internet are not posted to Tumblr and 4chan by teenaged nihilists, but to Facebook groups about gardening by sensible midwestern moms. It follows that the best election memes would show support for a candidate who speaks to the heartland. Enter the Ted Cruz Meme Page.
Perhaps you’ve heard of Bernie Sanders’ Dank Meme Stash, and believe that a photoshop of the Vermont socialist onto a blinged-out Pen & Pixel rap album cover represents the height of the form. I pity you for your ignorance, but I also envy you, because the greatest thrill of your life is just a click away. You’ll never recapture the ecstasy of your first visit to the Ted Cruz Meme Page.
Take this Ted Cruz meme for instance.
Nice. Takes a classic meme format and turns it on its head, uses eye-catching graphic design elements such as gradients, lays out a platform for combatting terrorism that’s at least as comprehensive as Hillary Clinton’s.
Or this one:
Now that’s what I call a fresh meme.
I know what you must be thinking. Sure, any page can crank out a fresh meme here and there—am I supposed to be impressed that you’ve cherry-picked a few especially fresh ones? But the Ted Cruz Meme Page is consistently this good. All the memes you see here were posted within the last week.
You’ll probably need a second to let that settle in. While you do, enjoy another fresh meme.
What the fuck!
But you’re not here for the comments, my friend, you’re here for the memes. Let’s take have another couple for the road. *slips tourniquet over bicep*
*with swoon, falls*
*begins convulsing on the floor*