[There was a video here]

Donald Trump spent his afternoon attempting to flay Mitt Romney in the only way he knows how: by belittling Romney’s political might, masculinity, business acumen and even his wealth. He said Romney would have gotten down on his knees for money in 2012, that Romney ran a horrible presidential campaign, that he’s a “choke artist” who should have beaten Barack Obama, that he was intimidated out of running in 2016 by Jeb Bush, and that Trump owns a single store worth more money than Mitt Romney.

There was also a long roundabout bit about Romney being responsible for ruined carpet in his apartment. Fact check on any of this: untrue to, at best, undetermined. But this is the world we live in. You might as well drink it in.

Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.