Andrew Hardy, the 53-year-old man who nonchalantly walked into a McDonald's with a knife sticking straight into his back, gave an interview to the New York Post that cements his status as one extremely cool customer.
"Shit, I got a cool demeanor," he explained to the paper about the stab wound that left blood forming a comically large stain on the back of his white t-shirt as he stood among customers waiting for Big Macs, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, or Premium Bacon Ranch Salads.
The injury happened after Hardy, like the hero we always took him to be, attempted to break up a fight. From the Post:
At first two men were fist-fighting. But when another man jumped in — and the two ganged up on the lone fighter — Hardy leveled the playing field by holding one of the men back.
Moments later, he felt a sharp pain in his upper back. By the time he realized he had been stabbed, the attacker was gone. Gushing blood through his white shirt, Hardy called his daughter, then walked toward the Golden Arches a block away — with the kitchen knife poking out of his back.
Hardy called his 22-year-old daughter and cancelled their plans to see Think Like a Man Too together, because — again, he's a super guy and great dad — but he had a six-inch blade lodged in the soft skin between his shoulder blades.
"She got hysterical, naturally . . . but I still kept my cool because, if I had really got hurt, stabbed-stabbed, I would have really known that it had hit some vital," he told the Post.
Ah, I see. He was stabbed, but not stabbed-stabbed. Kind of like how you like someone well enough, but maybe don't like-like them. In that case, it sounds easy! If anything, he was overreacting, I think! Nothing to see here.