Everything Wrong With Barack Obama's Workout

Well well well, the secret is out. U.S. President Barack Obama's secret workout is finally declassified and caught on tape for all the world to see. Mister President, you got some problems.

A BRIEF LIST OF THE MOST READILY APPARENT FLAWS IN THE PRESIDENT'S WORKOUT AND HOW THEY MAY BE CORRECTED

  • Wearing headphones: Real bad boys move in silence.
  • Wearing long pants: Work out in shorts. You gotta have space to move those legs.
  • Insufficient depth on lunges: I need your knee to touch the floor. Touch. The floor.
  • Lateral dumbbell raises with light weights: A heavier overhead barbell press is a faster more effective way to build shoulder strength and general upper body strength.
  • Seated overhead dumbbell press: This exercise should be done standing. Never sit when you can stand. You also demonstrate insufficient depth on your presses. I'm gonna need your arm to form a 90 degree angle at the bottom of the lift.
  • Doing curls: Stop doing curls.
  • Use of the elliptical machine: You do not appear to be in rehab from a major knee or leg injury. Therefore you should not be using the bitch ass elliptical machine.
  • The overall makeup of your workout is conspicuously lacking in heavy compound movements: Let's keep it real Barack Obama. You are a busy man. When you get a chance to go to the gym, you need to make it count. You don't have time to waste. You need to maximize the effectiveness of every single minute of your workout. The only way to do this is to focus your workout around heavy compound lifts, sir! And yet we see an entire video of you doing a workout without a single barbell press or deadlift or squat, sir! WHERE ARE THE SQUATS, BARACK OBAMA? WHERE ARE THE SQUATS MR. PRESIDENT?

Tom Platz in 2016.

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