If you didn't immediately leap off the nearest building upon learning that teen mom Farrah Abraham earned a $1 million payday for opening her back door to porn star James Deen in her first professionally produced "sex tape," you'll be glad to know that life isn't quite that unfair just yet.
A FOX411 investigation into the money changing (hopefully sanitized) hands in the rapidly expanding world of "celebrity" "sex 'tapes'" has revealed that, rather than sign a "high six figure" contract with Vivid as claimed, Abraham actually got paid in the low five figures.
Professional celebrity sex tape broker Kevin Blatt told the site Abraham received all of $10,000 from the porn production company — about the same amount offered to Pippi Longstockings actress Tami Erin for her tape.
"It is what they offer every celebrity, not a million dollars," Blatt told FOX411.
Once upon a time, ?-listers like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian really were paid in the millions, but with every bottomed-out starlet now offering to give her wares away in exchange for a cheap signal boost, those days are long gone.
Though Abraham is technically entitled to 30 percent of sales from her feature, Vivid vet Jasmine Waltz told Fox Abraham should expect to get screwed on that deal.
"Vivid told me they would give $125,000 and 25 percent of the back end, all the sales that are made," Waltz, star of Real Jasmine, is quoted as saying. "Basically, you’ll never see the back end after advertisement. You won’t get the money. It’s a very untrustworthy business."
Meanwhile, Abraham isn't sitting around with her legs crossed waiting for her shot at more money.