Tony Panzino was losing his panties, and he wanted to know why.
When Panzino, the proprietor of Premier Couples Superstore in Orlando, couldn't account for $6,000 in sexy lingerie, he reportedly did what any Florida man would do: He forced his entire staff to take a lie-detector test.
He says one employee out of all ten, Amitra Alexander, failed that test. But she's suing Panzino in court, claiming he violated her legal rights by putting her on the box.
According to Alexander's lawsuit, Panzino informed employees that they were not considered suspects, but he wanted them to take a polygraph test to make sure they had nothing to do with the stolen items. Workers who refused to take the polygraph would be terminated, said Alexander.
Two days after taking the polygraph, Alexander claims Panzino told her she had failed the test and fired her based on the results.
"I did not fire her for failing the test," insists Panzino. Instead, the store owner tells Local 6, he terminated Alexander based on the way she talked and behaved in his office after being notified of the test results, which he described as a "99 percent fail."
At issue are the provisions of the 1988 Employee Polygraph Protection Act, "generally prevents employers from using lie detector tests, either for pre-employment screening or during the course of employment, with certain exemptions," according to the Department of Labor.
The exemptions are mostly for armed security guards and purveyors of pharmaceuticals, but there's a catch-all that permits polygraph testing of "employees who are reasonably suspected of involvement in a workplace incident that results in economic loss to the employer and who had access to the property that is the subject of an investigation."
Even if Panzino's test fulfills that standard, he still has to prove the test was run according to the law, including proper notifications to employees and giving them the chance to opt out. (Also, what control questions do you ask a porn-shop worker?)
According to the Orlando Sentinel, in her suit Alexander "is seeking an unspecified amount of damages, lost wages and wants to be reinstated to her former position at the business." Damn, that's commitment. If it doesn't happen, maybe she can get work at Premier's partner, Club Relate ("A Co-Ed Masturbation Swing Club For You!") I'm guessing they ask a lot fewer questions over there.