He's just a man. A man with a dream. A dream of not getting pulled over all the time because of the name he inherited. Also, a dream of allegedly doing some drugs, which, you know, irony!
Seriously, just watch the video:
The South Florida Sun-Sentinel tells the story of Ed Cocaine, the man the authorities came to blame:
"What?" uttered a stunned County Judge John "Jay" Hurley.
"My last name is Cocaine," proudly stated the man at the podium. His name was indeed legal and inscribed on his driver's license.
"You know, I'd thought I'd seen it all," Hurley laughed, shaking his head. "How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?"
"Just about every time I get pulled over," a chuckling Cocaine admitted.
The 34-year-old Fort Lauderdale man, arrested Tuesday in Pembroke Pines, explained how he got his name. "My great-grandparents came over here from Greece and they changed it," he said. "That was like in the 1920s."
Cocaine, by the way, was arrested for possession of... Xanax. Didn't see that coming, did you.
But let's not laugh at him. His story is the story of America! Of high hopes and new beginnings. Also, it's probably an improvement over the Old World family name, Crackadopolis.