Former French President Admits He Was Attacked By a Panda

Former French President Valery Giscard d'Estaing admitted earlier this week that while in office he was attacked by a panda.

Le Président decided to test his Le "presidential courage" while visiting his daughter, who was working at a Paris zoo. It was there that d'Estaing came into contact with the panda. The panda grabbed the tall president like he was a piece of tasty, tasty bamboo.

""They came to extract me from its claws but imagine what would have been said had the animal knocked me to the ground," d'Estaing told a conference on Tuesday.

While pandas are mostly peaceful, plant-loving animals, they can sometimes become territorial.

Iain Valentine, who works with pandas at the Edinburgh Zoo, told the BBC that "although not particularly aggressive by nature, pandas do have this potential and are very territorial animals."

Pandas are also monarchists and hate democracy in all forms. They are filled with disdain for elected officials, who feign to represent the people, but the Pandas know better, and their time is coming. We will all soon bow to Queen Lun-Lun on her bamboo throne.

I, for one, welcome our new panda overlords.