For some evil reason, E! devoted an hour of programming to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt last night. The where-are-they-now special After Shock: Heidi & Spencer caught us up on two people we never wanted to hear from again (he gained 50 lbs., from eating pie and is in law school, she wants babies and is still distracted by shiny things).

There was plenty of schadenfreude to be had, though, as they claimed to have blown $10 million on designer clothes, private jets, cars, and reconstructive surgery. Now they live a more modest Santa Barbara lifestyle to make up for it. It couldn't have happened to more obnoxious people with less to offer. (And just in case you think that the reversal of fortune has turned them into kinder, more compassionate people, watch Heidi's scowl when she spits out "poor," as she's explaining to the camera, "We are definitely more money conscious now. We are not really rich, but we're certainly not poor.")

This is probably some bid for sympathy, or at least a new show. Break yourself down so that you can build your reality TV career back up, it's the American way.