Alright, So What the Fuck is This?

A well-executed (but still wholly moronic) troll-job, or just sheer hatefulness?

Patrick George's response didn't make things any clearer, as I can't tell if it was a "lol fuck off" or a "if I see you in the office I'll grab a laptop and break it over your head, fuck off".

In any case, it's a perfect example of the godawfulness that is Gawker. Every other blog gets a sincere gift guide, and Jalopnik gets this. I don't care in the least about the stupid gift guide, but spirit of the matter is indicative of the ridiculously awful cluster of groupthink that is gawker.

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Pending approvalOriginal post by J.K. Trotter on Gawker

Gawker Gift Guide: Jalopnik Edition

Gawker Gift Guide: Jalopnik EditionIn the interest of remaining profitable yet not entirely dependent on display advertising, Gawker is publishing a series of gift guides aimed at the target audiences of our seven sister sites. Previously: Deadspin Gift Guide; Jezebel Gift Guide; Kotaku Gift Guide.


The tagline of Jalopnik, Gawker Media’s car culture website, is “Drive Free or Die.” This is a pernicious lie, a distorted theory of human liberty made only somewhat plausible by automobile manufacturers’ indelible stain on the layout and public amenities of American cities. You do not need your own car—which is to say, the ability to drive wherever you want, whenever you want, to drive free—in order to truly live.

Whoa there, you might be saying. How do I get rid of my car? That’s where this gift guide—cultivated by you, dear readers—comes in. What sort of mass-produced consumer goods make it easier to go car-less, or nearly car-less? What sort of item, or gift card, would you be willing to give your car-crazy cousin if you didn’t want to encourage him?

In other words: What makes riding the subway or bus not completely unbearable? Which car-rental service is best? Which taxi-hailing app do you rely on? Suggestions welcome below.

To make this gift guide easy to use (and maximally profitable for Gawker Media), please follow these instructions:

1. Begin with the name of the gift, in bold, followed by the price.

2. If there's a photograph, post that below the name and price.

3. Describe the gift and why the sort of person who reads Jalopnik would like it.

4. Indicate where an interested reader can purchase the gift, linking out to an online retailer if appropriate. Which online retailer? That’s up to you. But if you link out to Amazon.com, a nifty little box will appear allowing readers to click a little thingie and buy it right there, which is pretty neat. Even neater, Gawker will get a cut of the purchase price. Do what you will with that information. Get gifting!

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