George Zimmerman Is a Self-Proclaimed Security Guard Now

Stop me if you heard this one: George Zimmerman was questioned by police under creepy, peculiar circumstances, but they ultimately let him go. Wait, no, hang on, there's a twist this time.

The twist is that Zimmerman—killer of Trayvon Martin, alleged threatener of women, gun-show hero, art connoisseur—told the cops he's doing security these days. But the guy whose place he's "protecting" says uh, no, not so much. Via Orlando's WESH-TV:

Police said they spotted Zimmerman sitting in a pickup truck with his dog in the back of the Pompano Pat's Motorcycles store on Woodland Boulevard around 12:30 a.m. Sunday.

Zimmerman said he was helping protect the store for the owner, according to police.

Police said the store, which is owned by Pat Johnson, was broken into recently.

Johnson told WESH 2 News that he befriended Zimmerman after his acquittal in the the death of Trayvon Martin last summer, but did not hire him to do security work.

Wait, if he's not doing security work, what's the deal, then?

Johnson said Zimmerman has sat outside of his store several times on his own lately.

Does that sound fucking weird? Sure, it sounds fucking weird. It sounds even fucking weirder when you go to Pompano Pat's website and realize that Pompano Pat Johnson does as much of a business in guns and gun-licensing classes as it does in Hondas and hogs.

Also, you can join the NRA through Pompano Pat's website, and your dues will help the gun group to lobby states like Florida to pass bills like Stand Your Ground to benefit upstanding, not-at-all-creepy, sitting-in-the-pickup-in-the-back-parking-lot, maybe-working-security-maybe-not gun enthusiasts like George Zimmerman. Who must be just awesome for business at places like Pompano Pat's.

Update: A reader points out that Pompano Pat Johnson offered George Zimmerman a free handgun when he was acquitted in Trayvon Martin's killing:

In a letter to Zimmerman's attorney, former Local 6 legal analyst Mark O'Mara, Pompano Pats in DeLand said it's offering a free firearm to Zimmerman after hearing media reports that he could not obtain his Kel-Tec PF-9 from authorities.

"Upon receiving your confirmation that he is well within his legal rights to concealed carry, our company would like to offer Mr. Zimmerman a free firearm. We currently have the same model in stock, or he could (choose) another weapon suitable for concealed carry," the letter states.

Maybe George is holding out for more free stuff.

[Photo credit: AP Images]