De Blasio Dropped a Groundhog and It Predicted Six Weeks of Winter

Mayor Bill has doomed us all to another four years of Soviet winter with his mishandling of Staten Island Chuck, and Phil, the Punxsatawney stalwart, confirms winter will continue for at least another six weeks.

The Staten Island Advance reports that Chuck—full name Charles G. Hogg—appears unharmed.

"The groundhog has shown no talent for predicting the arrival of spring, especially in recent years," Asheville, NC's National Climatic Data Center told USA Today. "Phil's competitor groundhogs across the nation fared no better."

More like Anticlimactic Data Center! Ha ha ha :(.