In a deeply concerning interview with Harper's Bazaar UK out today, inflated Chia seed Gwyneth Paltrow works through some complicated feelings about her "conscious uncoupling" from rock dad Chris Martin. "There are times when I think it would have been better if we had stayed married," she says.
Throughout the interview, Gwyn heaps praise on Chris, citing his "strength," "incredible empathy," loving attitude, and patience. She basically shouts "I am Heathcliff" at the interviewer. Here, she discusses how the two fell in love and how Chris can sympathize with those suffering tragic brain injuries:
"It was very fast," she says, and acknowledges that falling in love with Martin was also in some sense bound up with the depth of her mourning for her father. "I feel like I would have died somehow if I hadn't met him at that time. I felt like I was going to die of grief. I remember waking up, on one particular night, where I felt like I was having a heart attack and I couldn't breathe... I lay on the floor of my apartment in London and I thought, "I'm not going to survive this." And he just picked me up and he was so loving and patient through all my grieving. He's really great in a crisis. He has incredible empathy when it comes to somebody's pain."
Last week, she says, "he was with the child of a friend of his who's just had a brain tumour removed. And before that, we had a friend in London whose son had a very bad head injury–and every night Chris was at the hospital sitting with the parents. He just has an extraordinary capacity in that way."
She then suggests that when she met Chris, he was "too young. Men are very young at that age, and I was relying on him very heavily and I really expected him to keep being this grown man and pillar of strength–which he was and is–but it's also quite an unfair set of criteria to give to someone who's just 25 years old."
Gwyn, now 42, and Chris, 37, have been separated since March. She says their separation is "always a moving, amorphous thing," suggesting that perhaps it is not permanent in her mind.
"There are times when I think it would have been better if we had stayed married, which is always what your children want. But we have been able to solidify this friendship, so that we're really close," she explains.
I think we can all agree that it would be okay for Gwyn to start eating carbs again.