Sometimes the meandering course of one's #winning finds one drunk and craving Taco Bell of an evening, so one does the natural thing and has Gary fire up the car and take one's hammered ass to the drive-thru.

"Sorry I'm so fuckin' hammered," one will sheepishly apologize, after ignoring Gary's advice and stumbling up to the two fans in the car behind you. But they're cool with it, because one is Charlie Sheen, professional winner, and they're always cool with it.

"Let 'em go!" Gary shouts. Your Doritos Locos await.


Later, on a massive waterbed strewn with packets of Fire sauce, one reflects, "Those tattoos were a great idea," and is soon overtaken by a gauzy sleep and dreams of porn stars.


Life is awesome.

[H/T Reddit]