UPDATE 8/5/14 9:36 a.m.: A sad thing to admit, but we were fooled by this hoax. But if anyone has a really good egg salad recipe, we're still looking for it.

An egg salad recipe is a terrible thing to lose, or so says Sergio Eisalat, a "reality TV star" renting a house in the Hamptons, whose private recipe went missing this week when a hungry thief made off with his briefcase.

One would think if the recipe is worth calling police over, it's also worth committing to memory, but perhaps Eisalat is additionally afraid of mind thieves. Whoever the alleged bandit is, feel free to comment with a burner account below to confirm that this egg salad really does yield "the best egg salad in the world."