Help Help Oh God I'm Melting: How to Stay Cool in This Scorching Hell

Fuck Earth. It gets so fucking hot here! Why do we live here? How can we keep our body temperatures at a degree capable of sustaining life since we're trapped here?

Should we eat raw beef, straight from the fridge? I don't know, that's just one idea. There are no bad ideas.

Share your your tips on how to stay cool in the comments.

Help save us.

Image of the bitch sun via SOHO (ESA & NASA)