Hedge Funds Will Be Able to Advertise SoonS

For 80 years, it's been illegal for hedge funds to advertise to the public, due to various SEC regulations. Now, those regulations are changing. Hedge funds will soon be able to advertise! *Eyes you up and down* Probably not to you, though.

Hedge funds, which are, collectively, a scam designed to transfer money from the accounts of investors into the accounts of hedge fund managers, are only open to legally "accredited investors"— millionaires— who are "considered better positioned to understand the risks of investing with less information." Judging by the amount of money vaporized in the last financial collapse, rich people are not any better at understanding risks than anyone else; they just have enough money to make it matter less when their investments fail.

In any case, even with their newfound ability to buy ads, it does not seem likely that hedge funds will be appearing in the SkyMall catalog any time soon. From Bloomberg:

The limit to sell only to accredited investors explains why many hedge funds probably won't respond to the rule change by taking out print and television ads seeking new investors, said David S. Guin, a partner at Withers Bergman LLP...

"You wouldn't expect the type of person who is typically sought as an investor to be investing off of an ad in a newspaper or magazine," Guin said.

I know you're disappointed, Reader's Digest subscribers, but the fact that hedge funds will continue to soak the well-connected rich exclusively is, on balance, good news.

The more impactful part of the new changes: private companies trying to raise investment money will also be able to advertise now, so Reader's Digest subscribers will be able to be suckered into sinking their retirement money into Uncle Joe's Cotton Candy-n-Tire World, which has very big plans for global expansion, which you can be a part of— if you act now.

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