Donald Trump and Chris Christie today held a joint press conference, ostensibly to announce Christie’s endorsement, but effectively to roast the hell out of Marco Rubio.

Here are the most savage burns of the event.

Chris Christie


I find it fascinating that someone who barely shows up for work in the six years he’s a United States senator is going to talk about someone else being unprepared. I mean, the fact of the matter is, Senator Rubio has shown himself over the course of time to be wholly unprepared to be president of the United States, I said that at the time I was in the race and nothing has changed my mind now.

We don’t need any more Washington politicians, especially some who have only been there for one term and never really show up for work to tell us how to run the United States government.

Donald Trump

It’s my honor this morning to introduce somebody who is a real standout. He’s been my friend for many years, he’s been a spectacular governor, he’s been just a wonderful person and a wonderful loyal person. Done a really good job. Totally destroyed Marco Rubio the other day, I have never quite seen that. I was standing next to Marco Rubio and he melted. I said, “Are you alright Marco?” I really give Chris credit, he’s a real talent.

He is pretty desperate guy. He’s down about 22 points in Florida.

I’ll tell ya about backstage, if you’d like. I walked back there and he’s with a pile of makeup putting it on his face. I said, “Marco, easy with the makeup, you don’t need that much.” You know the story with Marco, I watched him against this man, where Marco—he was right over here, and I actually looked at him, I said, “Are you okay?” He looked like he just came out of a swimming pool, he was a mess. So we’ll see what happens, we’re going to see what happens. I heard he had some very nasty, personal comments. But I saw him backstage, and he was putting it on with a trowel.

Marco Rubio is a lightweight. He doesn’t have the talent, he doesn’t have the temperament, he can never be president.

He’s desperate. Look. I watched a part of his little act. He’s a desperate guy. I’ve been watching him. He is not presidential material, that I can tell you. He doesn’t have the demeanor. He is a nervous nellie. I watched him backstage, he’s a mess. The guy is a total mess. And, you know, I joked recently about can you imagine Putin sitting there waiting for a meeting, and Rubio walks in and he’s totally drenched. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never seen a human being sweat like this man sweats. So I don’t think he’s of presidential caliber, I don’t think he has the demeanor, I don’t think he’s going to do very well. He’s a mess.

For me to go into Florida and have like a twenty-point lead over the sitting senator. But remember, the sitting senator abandoned Florida. He left Florida. He was supposed to be there. He really defrauded, if you think of it, he really defrauded the people of Florida. Because they elected him as a young senator, he goes there, and before he sits down, he starts running for president. He’s not the right guy, in my opinion, very bad temperament. He’s got the absolute wrong temperament to be president.

I don’t think he has the right temperament. I watched Chris do a number on him. I’ve almost never seen a meltdown like that in my life. And you know, it’s interesting about people who choke. I’m, believe it or not, a good athlete. I’ve watched people choke over the years, and once a choker, always a choker. It never, ever changes. A guy that misses the kick, misses the kick. When he misses the first one, you gotta get rid of him because it doesn’t work. Once a choker, always a choker, and that was one of the epic meltdowns. He didn’t know where he was. I thought he was going to die.

And of course, whatever this was: