Here's the Flag-Crazy Senate Intern Email Everyone in D.C. is Reading

Byron Thomas, a patriotic young man from "the extremely beautiful state of South Carolina" loves flags. He loves Confederate flags, like the one he hung in his room at the University of South Carolina despite protests from other students. He loves American flags, like the ones that decorate the office of his state's Republican United States Senator Tim Scott, where he has been an intern for eight days.

Sadly, not everyone shows flags as much love as Byron Thomas does. No one else in his office, representing the extremely beautiful state of South Carolina, even says the Pledge of Allegiance before work every day, like he does.

Byron Thomas is reaching out to change this. So he sent out an email this morning, inviting staff and fellow interns to a cool flag party happening every day before 9 a.m.

Good morning

My name is Byron Thomas and I'm from the extremely beautiful state of South Carolina. I intern for Republican Senator Tim Scott. I've had the pleasure of coming into different offices to meet the staff and interns from different states. Yes, we are all different and are working on different agendas but at the end of the day, we're all citizens of the greatest country on earth, known as the United States of America. Now I've only been here for 8 days but I can tell that something is wrong, (in my opinion). We have American flags in front of every room, but I’ve never seen anyone take the time to proudly say the Pledge of Allegiance. Truly ask yourself, when was the last time you put your hand on your heart and said the Pledge of Allegiance. Now, I’m not attacking anybody because it’s your freedom and right to not say it but I’m assuming everyone that’s working up here loves this awesome country. Are we that busy that we can’t take a minute to show some pride and respect for our country? I say it every morning before I walk in because America’s always on my mind. I truly care about this country and I refuse to let this country fall. I know saying the pledge isn’t going to straighten out this economy we are in, but I believe it’s the little things that will take us far in life. We’re living in a truly blessed country and our generation has a great opportunity to be the greatest generation this country has ever had. I have a ton of faith in our generation because we will get America back on track! We all have to work together, so we can keep that American Dream alive for future generations. Now, I would love to say the pledge with the different offices before 9am (because that’s when I start work). All I want is for our generation to show that we’re united and that we’re going to stand together. We’ll always be One Nation, Under God. I hope you’ll see my words as kind and respectful because I’m truly not attacking anybody. I just truly care about this country and I want to work with everybody. Overwhelm People with Kindness and May God Bless the United States of America

P.S. Please share my message to your staff and interns or other offices that I didn’t reach, if you would like. Also if any events are happening, please let me know I would love to come.

All will bow to the flag. And Byron Thomas, mistress to the stars (and bars) and stripes, will rule. And please invite him to your events, if you have any.

(Judging by his apparently earnest pro-slavery Facebook and Twitter accounts, it's possible Byron Thomas is a late '80s Saturday Night Live sketch that has crossed the membrane into real life.)

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