Hey Lady Lawyers, "Think Lauren Bacall Not Marilyn Monroe"

Clifford Chance, a biglaw firm based in London with offices around the world, apparently distributed this memo, "Presentation Tips for Women," to all its U.S. female associates, featuring helpful tips on everything from speaking ("Think Lauren Bacall not Marilyn Monroe") to meaning business ("Don't giggle") to choreographing your hands ("Watch out for the urinal position").

Other recommendations include:

  • "No one heard Hillary the day she showed cleavage"
  • "Don't hide behind your hair"
  • "Lose the quirky mannerisms that are so charming to those who do know you"
  • "If wearing a skirt, make sure audience can't see up it when sitting on dais."
  • Don't dress like a mortician

Because there are just some things law school's never going to teach you.

[image via AP]