Hobo Women Invade Congress

The majority of Americans are currently living on their friend's couch "just for a few weeks until my raise at Rite Aid comes through." In sympathy, our professional elected Congresswomen are also actual, real-life hobos.

For many years, some male Congresspersons have slept in their offices, as a symbolic way of proving to their constituents that they are not up here to waste money on unnecessary things like "rent," and also because they are cheap, dirty slobs. The new news in America, however, is that now, for the first time in the history of American hobo politics, even female Congresspersons (with vaginas) are sleeping in their Congressional offices, symbolizing both the ignominious decline of female Congressional virtue and the strength of our ongoing national War on Women Who Use Private Showers Rather Than Those in the Congressional Gymnasium Like Some Desperate Hobos. The Wall Street Journal reports:

Reps. Kristi Noem of South Dakota, Lynn Jenkins of Kansas and Jaime Herrera Beutler of Washington are believed to be the first congresswomen to bunk in their offices, joining the ranks of lawmakers eschewing rent and a commute for an air mattress and showers at one of the congressional gyms. Like their male counterparts, the women are forgoing beds, bathtubs and home-cooked meals primarily to save money and maximize efficiency—and for some, to also make a political point—on the four days a week they generally spend in Washington. All three previously lived in apartments, not always close to the Capitol.

The hobo community of America salutes these elected pauper women, and calls for Hobo King Barack Obama to hold a bonfire on the lawn of his lean-to to celebrate. Beans for all!

[Photo of the U.S. Congressional cafeteria: AP]