Yesterday's disturbing Coachella report, in which Andy Dick grabbed a premium-priced Heineken draught beer from a Defamer operative's hands and put his lips to the cup and drank from it, just scratched the surface of the damage reaped by the black-eyed beer-pirate. A second report has just come in:

In the VIP beer garden at Coachella, which was not too special at all, Andy saw it fit to cut the $7 beer line. I took issue with this and told him and his lanky crony to get in line. Andy replied that I had "beautiful eyelashes." While standing behind me in line, black shiner and all, he proceeded to rub my back and shoulders and tell me "you have such a nice, strong back." While his comments have merit, I'd likely have given him a matching shiner had I not seen how visibly inebriated (substances unknown) he was.

If memory serves us correctly, two Coachellas ago, Dick was arrested for weed possession, which led to him being banned at last year's festival. Clearly, the exile has been lifted, leaving the door wide open for Dick to perform his ambisexual backrub terrorism campaign on an unwitting, brew-thirsty public.

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