Enjoy the weekend box office predictions, which have a margin of error of approximately +/- 35% per film.

1. The Incredibles — $32 million
The Incredibles continues its inexorable march to box office domination, but its Oscar chances will be damaged when a home video surfaces containing footage of Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl using her considerable powers of flexibility to erotic (and possibly illegal, depending on your municipality) ends.

2. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie — $25 million
How much animation can parents stand this weekend? Probably enough for SpongeBob to fashion a new pair of pants out of money. We do however reserve the right to adjust this estimate downward by 50% to account for the ways Paramount might find to fuck this up at the last minute, like accidentally issuing a press release claiming that animated sponges cause eye cancer.

3. National Treasure — $18 million
If we may be so bold, we insist that Nic Cage is himself a national treasure. Let's lock him in a vault until he gets a good script.

4. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason —$16 million
News stories that contain the phrase "Bridget Jones opens wide" to announce the movie's expansion to over 2000 theaters will probably trick the public into buying tickets. Who wouldn't pay to see that?

5. The Polar Express — $15 million
Being the third-best animated movie this weekend should be worth approximately this much.

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