In the rapidly approaching future, the DNA that once produced successful pop-stars will be degraded by its commingling with the inferior genes of suspiciously fertile, unemployed background dancers, and a recording industry decimated by the resulting lack of marketable talent will pay any price for a cloneable sample of that prelapsarian, platinum-selling genetic material. It is then that your great-grandchildren will finally recognize your speculative, $250 investment in a pumice stone that may or may not have rubbed against Britney Spears's skin for its genius.

• Britney Spears' Pumice Stone [eBay]
• Previously: The Britney Economy: Bra Joins Panties On eBay [Defamer]
• Buy Britney's Discarded Gum: A New Low For eBay Celebrity Auctions [Defamer]

Contact information for this author is not available.