In the January 3rd, 2005, issue of the New Yorker, Anthony Lane rips Andrew Lloyd Webber and Joel Schumacher's Phantom of the Opera into tiny, bloody chunks, comparing the flick to a "special-edition remix of a Duran Duran video." It's definitely the feel-good review of 2005 already.

Lane's review sent some of the web-scourers at Metafilter on a search for the world's worst reviews; along the way, they churned up a New York Press review of the Sharon Stone/Dustin Hoffman/Samuel Jackson nightmare Sphere that's farging priceless. I'd totally forgotten about the debacle that was Sphere: in fact, all of us in the theater (all four of us!) held hands at the end and agreed to forget it together.

• Sphere [NY Press]
• Unmasked [The New Yorker]

Contact information for this author is not available.